Found that quote while snooping through Ant's passport and it inspired me to spend a few minutes thinking about the current state of this great country and its' citizens. Seriously, you guys don't even know what a huge patriotic sap I am! I've found the housing, banking, corporate, etc. situation to be absolutely disgusting. It literally makes me feel sick hearing/reading about it. Recently it seems we've been showing the world that our hearts are full of fear, greed, violence, apathy, and denial. Everything the 'ugly American' stereotype is made of.
I think it's gonna take a collective effort to get us out of this mess. I could go on and on and bore you all to tears by yakking about the bailout, the unemployment, the economy, the housing situation, the wars, etc., etc., but instead I'll just say this: It's time for us all to work together to show the world what's really in our hearts, and we also need to reexamine our priorities and stop being selfish, over-consuming pricks. Men and women who just can't be bothered to vote but still want all the benefits of being an American citizen are, in my opinion, just as guilty as the greedy pigs we've allowed to run our government and corporations. These are times of change, and the changes are necessary.
That being said, I'm freakin' outta here! I'm moving back to Seoul, bitches!! Flight leaves in 5 hours! My next post will be coming at you live from The Land Of The Morning Calm*!!!!!!
*I think they call it that because after noon, everything just totally goes to shit.
So much for a quiet night! Stefaans, Cupcake, and Taylor. I love those guys! The downhill spiral pretty much went like this: wine ---> margaritas ---> beer ---> strawberry vodka ---> something I can't remember but had no business drinking ---> me waking up on the couch at the crack of dawn, holding my head and wondering why the room was spinning. Luckily I was able to catch a few photos before I crashed on the couch!
First, the little prompt: What made you say it? Tell a story (maybe of the first time it happened, maybe not) about a time you said 'I love you' to someone who wasn't a member of your family. Or write about someone you wish you'd said (or never said) 'I love you' to.
And now, without further ado, someone I still love with all my heart, but kind of wish I had never told anyone about. One day you wake up, all tangled up in love, with no way to get out of it. I hope it never happens to you.
Wandering through the streets surrounding Korea University in Seoul, having had more than my share of cheap yellow beer, I turn to my friend Achilles (yup, that's seriously his real name) and blurt out, "I just love him so much!! I totally want him to be mine!" To this day, I still remember the look he gave me.
"You're a moron."
"I knoooow, but I can't heeeeelp it!!!!"
I looked directly at the object of my affection and silently mouthed the words "I looooove you" before Achilles drug me away, shaking his head in a combination of disbelief and disgust.
We proceeded to meet up with my then boyfriend Seung Hyun, and the three of us made it our mission to get stupid drunk, obnoxiously loud, and eat our own weight in fried chicken (not necessarily in that order). For some reason I remember Achilles and I trying to explain the ridiculousness of American wedding receptions to Seung Hyun, but I doubt he got much of a cultural lesson from us since I think we mostly yelled things like, "ELECTRIC SLIDE!!!" and then spent the next 5 minutes convulsing with laughter and giving each other high fives while poor Seung Hyun sat quietly with a puzzled look on his face.
Other than that, all I remember is the awful, awful hangover I woke up with the next morning around 7 a.m. You've all been there before, I know you have...the terrible, throbbing headache, that awful watery mouth/I'm about to puke feeling, the spinning room, and the unmistakeable knowledge that there was definitely someone unfamiliar in my bed with me.
Now, maybe some of you mofos are used to waking up with zero short term memory and some unknown weirdo in your bed with you (Brownie, I'm talking to you here) and that's totally fine, I'm certainly not one to judge, but it definitely ain't my style and I had NO IDEA what my next move should be. I pieced together what I could remember of the end of the night...taxi to my street in Yaksu...said goodbye to Seung Hyun at the bottom of the enormous hill my building was on, staggered up the hill...puked my guts out on the side of my building (What?!? I never claimed to be fucking classy!). From the time I had said goodbye to Seung Hyun I was alone, it couldn't have taken me more than 10 minutes to get up the hill, maybe another 5 to add a splash of color to the far wall of the place, so who the fuck was in my bed with me???? By now I had worked myself into quite an uproar, and really had no idea how I was going to get myself out of this one.
So without even turning my head to see who was hogging the blankets I totally panicked, screamed, fell out of my bed, knocked over my entire nightstand and all the contents on/in it, and generally caused an enormous racket. Yup, I'm smooth like that.
I had caused enough of a commotion to wake the dead, and there was nothing from the other side of the bed...no movement, no noise, nothing. Hmmm...odd. Finally, I picked my head up (a feat in itself considering the enormous hangover I was suffering with) and saw......
HAHAHAHA!!! I went home with Jack the Pumpkin King!!!! I had totally forgotten that at some point during the night Seung Hyun had not so subtlely walked off, and when he returned 20 minutes later he had a huge giftwrapped package for me. It was a huge Jack doll, the same one I had fallen madly in love with and expressed my undying love to just a few hours ago! I must have been excited when I got home and unwrapped him, because I had him all tucked in safely with his head on my pillow and the blankets up to his chin. HAHA!
Jack stayed by my side throughout many of my adventures in Korea. We watched countless hours of bootleg movies and outdated celebrity gossip together, we took naps and nursed hangovers, he waited patiently for me to come home while I worked or went out, and he let me cry on his shoulder when I was homesick or PMSing or just felt like crying for any old reason. When my blood cells plummeted and I had to decipher scary words like "relapse" and "chemotherapy" and "tumor" in a language and culture I didn't fully understand, he was the only one there when I said the awful truth aloud for the first time. I'm not proud to admit it, but he took quite a beating more than a few times as I frustratingly made my way through doctors who still believed in fan death, translators who didn't speak English, and a boss who said God was punishing me and this never would have happened if I had gotten married. Aside from the few times he became my punching bag, we never fought, because he had perfected the awesome skill of knowing how to keep his big mouth shut!! It was the best relationship of my life.
And then one day, I woke up feeling stuck. It was time for me to leave Korea, time for me to move on, time for me to maybe start listening to what other people had to say. But I had pledged my undying love to him that night on the street corner, and probably on several occasions since then. I couldn't just discard him! His big, nonblinking eyes would haunt me forever! What could I do?!? He had totally been there for me, and now that he was becoming a bit of an inconvenience I was looking to take the easy way out and just dump him. Is that the kind of person I wanted to be? Someone who ran from relationships/responsibilities the second they got a little complicated? I mean, I still loved him, I just couldn't deal with him anymore! I needed space - literally!!! - I had a ton of shit to haul back to the states and only a backpack and medium sized suitcase to get the job done! Sigh.
By now you must be on the edge of your seats, biting your nails, wondering desperately how this story ends. So now that I've made this short story incredibly long, I'll fill you in on the lesson I learned the hard way, in hopes that it will possibly spare you some anguish in the future.
LOVE AIN'T CHEAP!!!
I have spent a bloody fortune mailing that dude from Korea to Pennsylvania, from Pennsylvania to California, and on and on it goes as I get ready to leave California for my next destination, which I already know won't be a permanent destination. What can I say? A commitment is a commitment.
And at least he never complains!
Grumpy disposition...double check
Ant got busy making everyone bfast, and the rest of the boys checked every online surf report they could find while chatting about wind and waves and storms and what size boards to take and which wetsuits to wear. It's like a whole other language, and the only part of it I understood was that there would be no trip to Marin for us today. I don't mind too much, though. It gives me a chance to sing and dance my way through the house to Seasons of Love, from the Rent soundtrack, which is not something I have the opportunity to do very often. Plus, Ant gets to use his brand-spankin'-new board, bought for him by the world's greatest girlfriend ever!
Yesterday Ant surprised me with a book of poetry by Nikki Giovanni, so after I was done becoming a red head (did you notice the new hair color?) I lounged on my favorite stoop and read the whole book. Here's one of my favorites:
Midnight poems are bicycles
Taking us on safer journeys
But never as beautiful
As my back
Touching you under the quilt
Sing a sweet song
Is all right
Here for us
I reach out
To catch the laughter
The dog thinks
I need a kiss
With the flow
Of the earth
Like a cloud
In the October Sky
Like licking ice cream
From a cone
Like knowing you
All day long I wait
For the sunset
The first star
The moon rise
To a midnight
Like it? I sure do.
Having spent the last 2 months or so dropping less-than-subtle hints about a cute little cajun restaurant on Irving that I really, really wanted to try, I finally decided to take matters into my own hands and made a reservation, then sent Ant a text that said, "I made reservations for the date you're taking me on tonight!" It didn't take him long to figure out that if he put in a few hours with me last night I wouldn't be able to say anything when he decided to spend the rest of the weekend surfing. Smart boy. So we went to dinner and had a great time. The food was good and we somehow ended up in a conversation about quantum physics, which happens to be one of my favorite topics! After dinner we headed into Japantown for some live music at The Boom Boom Room. They had a slightly above average sounding bluegrass band playing. Their timing was a bit off, and they seemed to lack energy, but they weren't terrible so we stayed for a few drinks and a little dancing. When we got home we found Matt and Garen hanging out in the kitchen, so we hung out with them for a bit before heading to bed. It's a tough life, but someone's got to live it! ;-)
"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.
Found this on my friend Achilles' site, and decided to repost it because it's just absolutely fucking gorgeous. Seriously, is there anything more beautiful than love??? If this video doesn't touch you, you're not human.
And since you mofos aren't very good at leaving me comments, I'll entice you to participate by promising to mail you your very own copy of my playlist if you recommend a song. Really. Even if your song sucks.
Check out Hip Hop Midget!!!!! That little guy knows how to shake his ass! Man oh man, midget wrestling was a good time! Jamie and I had a blast! There will be a TON of pics and more details soon, but right now I gotta get some more coffee!
Next post from PA!!! Need to get a run in since it's been a few days. Y'all can be damn sure I'll be bitching about the weather!
I'll try to post some pics later today!
Speaking of tired, that is a pretty accurate word to describe my running lately. Tired. I don't know why, I just feel like I should be improving more than I seem to be. Even short runs feel tougher than I'd like them too, and they don't feel tough in a good way. Do I need more conditioning? Some speed work? Strength training? All 3????
Ant got a juicer for Christmas, so we decided to play around with it this morning. He said I could make any kind of juice I wanted, then immediately vetoed my first three ideas:
1. Bacon juice
2. Cheese juice
3. Ice cream juice.
We settled on a bunch of veggies. We had some sort of carrot/celery/apple/lime combo, and a beet/carrot/ginger thingy. They were good, but not good enough that my body didn't know I was trying to trick it into eating vegetables.
Hmmm...what else is new? Saw Coraline last night, and I loved it!!!! I loved it so much that I spent quite a bit of time this morning searching for a secret passageway in our house but, alas, it has yet to reveal itself to me. After the movie we went to some club in a little back alley somewhere (I think the name was Jessel, or something like that). Shook my ass. Waved my arms. Spun around. Drank some vodka. Repeated. For hours!!! I am not a good dancer at all, but man did I have fun!! Woke up earlier than I had wanted to (thanks Ant) but felt fine so I didn't mind too much. As the day has progressed though, I'm feeling a bit lethargic and head achey. Time to lay on the couch and watch reruns of NOVA!!
Thanks for the beer loot, guys!! <3!