Begging For It

2011-07-11T18:20:00.000-07:00

I'm HERE now.

This here page will be disappearing shortly...

What's New.

2011-07-09T12:10:00.000-07:00

I have pink hair now. And ridiculously large hands (better to feed me more beer). This pic was snapped at the Bullfrog Brewery, which my brother and I stopped at on our way up to Tahoe for the start of Western States.

Weekend Update

2011-05-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know, it's Tuesday. But, when you're underemployed like I am, every day is pretty much a Saturday.

Speaking of Saturday...man oh man. I started boozing at brunch with Dani, Tony, and Ant, and didn't stop until I staggered through my door around 1 a.m., where I was promptly overwhelmed with the fantastic idea of opening a bottle of wine. Had a great day/night, but Sunday was a total waste.

Managed to get my lazy butt out for a run only once this weekend, and the hangover made it pretty freaking brutal. 4 miles. Walked once. It sucked. Meant to run yesterday, thought about running yesterday, even gathered my running clothes and drove them over to running buddy's house. Then we made french toast and bacon for breakfast. Then we couched it up and watched a movie. Then we ate cake and ice cream for lunch. Then we watched 2 more movies and took a nap. Then we went for Mexican at this great place in the Mission. At this point, we were pretty much high-fiving each other for at least getting off the couch and going outside once that day. However, we did watch Saint Ralph before falling asleep last night, so that's gotta count for something in the running department.

Actually have to work for a few hours today, but then I'll get out and log a few miles.

Sunday Morning

2011-05-15T14:14:00.000-07:00

What a booze-filled weekend I've had. Totally paying for it today.

Western States 100

2011-05-13T18:02:00.000-07:00

Like the way I used that as a title? That's so when people see it, they're all like, "Holy shit! This chick is bad-ass!! She's going to Western States!" Yes, it's true. I am. With my big brother.

He needs a ride.

:)

2011-05-13T17:16:00.001-07:00

Today (Friday the 13th!!) I skipped the whole run thing and went to the climbing gym with Ant. It was, by far, the best I've ever climbed. Ever. Even Ant, who's been my trusty belay partner for years, despite me having dropped him that one time in Korea (more on that little episode here), was all, "I can't believe you did that!"

I totally rock.

Another Boring Running Post...

2011-05-13T16:43:00.000-07:00

I'll keep it short and painful...much like the run.

Running buddy and I met up at my place to log a few miles. I had planned for us to do a 4.5 miler along the beach, into the park, around the lake, and back to my place, but 1.5 miles in we were not feeling it. He's got a little foot issue that I like to refer to as PF, and he likes to refer to as "an unknown injury that could be anything except what Jes thinks it is, because admitting that she's always right might just cause the world to stop rotating."

i interuppt this post to share with you guys that I'm at a coffee shop, an empty coffee shop, and two people just sat down across from me and started GOING AT IT. WTF?!? The couch across the room would be way more comfortable, don't you think?

Anyway, I don't actually know if it's PF or not, I just like stating my opinion as if it's a fact and then being all, "I told you so!" on the rare occasion that my opinion actually does turn out to be true.

So, there we are, 1.5 miles in, and he's hurting, and I'm...well, I'm just a lazy, out of shape bastard, so we decided to run through Sutro for a bit instead. Stopped at just over 3 measly miles, then walked around for another mile or so, checking out some different neighborhoods. Not a great workout, but a lovely way to spend an afternoon, for sure. We thought we'd make up for it by eating a healthy dinner, but scrapped that idea when I got us lost on the way to the healthy restaurant but conveniently found our way to an awesome Dim Sum place.

Yeah. Exciting stuff...it'll keep you awake for minutes.

Mostly For My Friend Ate Ball...

2011-05-13T16:29:00.001-07:00

...but the other 2 people who read this thing are welcome to enjoy it, too.

My girl and I had some drinks on Haight and decided to pop into the first salon we found that could take both of us immediately.

2011-05-12T11:13:00.000-07:00

Just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Wonder how long that ENORMOUS green thing has been stuck in my teeth?

One more reason not to eat vegetables, as far as I'm concerned. Beer never gets stuck in my teeth.

2011-05-12T10:59:00.000-07:00

Today is 12 May, 2011.

Why don't my posts show the date?

2011-05-12T10:44:00.000-07:00

Logged a decent 4 miler yesterday through the Mission/Potrero Hill areas. Skate park was the highlight. Definitely a better run than the whole Sausalito debacle.

Iron Stomach Triathlon next weekend, with vodka tasting at Hangar 1 right after! Mad psyched, yo!

2011-05-10T23:45:00.000-07:00

SCHEDULED MAINTENANCE?!?

WTF Netflix?!?!?

My First Post in Over a Year...

2011-05-10T20:08:00.000-07:00

...Wherein the reader discovers that I am basically the same trash-talking, beer-guzzling, junk-food eating moron I was when I last posted.

Well, onwards and upwards, shall we?

Yesterday, I jogged/walked/shuffled/at one point just gave up and sprawled out flat on my back on the ground through Sausalito. Sausalito is incredibly beautiful, but hot damn if that place isn't one fucking hill after another! I'll spare you the gory details, but it wasn't a good run for me. I doubt it was very pretty for anyone who witnessed any of it, either.

In my defense, I hadn't planned on going running. I had sent a text to my running buddy to see if he wanted to run, and when I didn't hear back from him within .03 seconds, I figured I was in the clear. So, I ate lunch. Enough lunch for 6 people. And had some beer. And then the MF'er confirms that he does, indeed, want to run. In 30 minutes.

In hindsight, I should've said no. But instead, I was all, "Better make it 45, cause I gotta finish my beer first!" I'm a moron.

We decided on Sausalito. Actually, I think I pushed for Sausalito because I knew the drive over there would buy me some time.
What I said: "We can run along the waterfront! It'll be so beautiful...the sun will be shining, the birds will be chirping, there will be double rainbows and unicorns around every corner. We should totally drive over there!"
What I meant: "If you don't give me the 25 minutes rest it will take us to drive over there (oh God, please let there be traffic) I guarantee I will puke all over you before the 1st mile mark."

I am an excellent negotiator. We headed to Sausalito.

So, we hopped in Einstein, and while he chatted on about whatever he had done over the past few days since I had seen him last, I sat silently in the passenger seat, begging and pleading with my digestive system to hurry the fuck up, and also kindly requesting my body to overlook the fact that I hadn't had a sip of anything non-alcoholic in about 3 days.

I am ALWAYS a slow runner, but man oh man did I ever take slowness to a new level. I did manage not to puke, but only because at one point, while running up a never ending staircase, I stopped, layed (laid? I'll never get that right) down on one of the steps, and declared that this running nonsense could get fucked, from now on my hobby of choice would be napping in the sun.

I did, eventually, make it back to the car. I was a sweaty, red-faced, rapid heart beating, partly bent over, gasping for breath mess. My running buddy was all, "Hey! Great warm up! You ready to run now?"

I am an excellent negotiator. We walked to the nearest bar.

Today, we were briefly recapping the events of yesterday, and when the run part came up I offered an apology for being so freaking slow and out of shape, and thanked him for even agreeing to run with me. Then, we briefly touched upon other topics. We had moved well beyond the disaster that was my attempt at running, just chatting about our schedules, when he said:

"I gotta tell you, if you don't step it up a little, you might need to find yourself a new running partner."

Fair enough. When it comes to running, he is way ahead of me on every level. He's faster, he's in better shape, he has way way more motivation and determination. He actually has self-discipline. I mean, sure, my outfits are waaaay cuter than his, but that probably doesn't make up for me sucking in every other department. Especially since I'm so slow I'm always lagging behind him, so he can't even spend the time checking out the goods, yaknowwhatimean?

So, yeah, fair enough.

But, since my running buddy and I tend to partner up in *ahem* other areas (note to mom and dad: board games), I wasn't sure if this was a very fair, logical reaction to the difference in our running abilities, or a metaphor for this habit we have of running in the afternoon, and then waking up together the next morning (note to mom and dad: Monopoly takes forever!!).

The logical part of my brain knew this was not a comment on our relationship. But the girl part of my brain was convinced I was getting dumped. The logical part of my brain knows that the girl part is insane and should be completely ignored 95% of the time. Unfortunately, the girl part of my brain has such a LOUD voice it can be difficult to ignore it.

So, I responded the same way I always do when presented with any topic that might lead to an even slightly uncomfortable conversation: "Oh...umm...well...OK. Did you ask if I wanted coffee? Cause I would looove me some coffee right now..."

It is a great, great thing to have a running buddy who knows how you like your coffee.

Uh, that's black, and to go, please.

Got my coffee, said my goodbyes, and left. And, since I was already doing the walk of shame in my running clothes I decided I might as well just go for a run. So, I ran. And I let myself have it. For jumping to conclusions. For always going straight to the worst case scenario. For putting such meaning behind a statement that actually had very little meaning behind it. For being such a fucking girl sometimes.

And then I thought about a bunch of the people and relationships in my life. It's a hot topic for me lately, the whole "what do I really want and need from the relationships in my life" question. I thought about my running buddy. I thought about some of my friends. I thought about my little brother. I thought about some acquaintances, people who are in my life right now because spending time with them is better (sometimes) than spending that time alone. I thought...I thought...I thought...always an endless circle of thoughts in my head.

And then somewhere around mile 3 it all just faded away, and I finished my run about 20 minutes later feeling great, feeling safe, trusting the Universe, and knowing that everything was going to be A OK.

Time for a beer. :)

2011-05-10T16:28:00.001-07:00

Hi Dani. :)

2010-03-07T09:09:00.000-08:00

Man oh man I want some Eggs Benedict like you guys would not believe! Think it's time to take myself to John's Ocean Beach Cafe!!

2010-03-06T08:57:00.000-08:00

I liked Alice in Wonderland. Especially the Karate Kid preview.

2010-03-05T19:07:00.000-08:00

It must be that time of the year when people who always struggle wind up struggling even harder, because my job (I assist those who tend to struggle) has been unbelievably stressful this past week. It started with a welfare check on a client who hadn't been heard from in a few days. I entered her room with my supervisor to find that she was no longer with us. The details are fuzzy, but it looked liked her last few hours weren't the most peaceful. Dealing with the fire department, police, and coroner is not nearly as cool as it looks on CSI. I hate when TV lies to me. It's been stressful, to say the least. I'm not normally bothered by death too much, but this one really threw me.

You'd think after that, every other crisis would pale in comparison, but it's really just been downhill from there. I called it quits about an hour early today and came home for a little rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation. TGIF!

Tonight I'm off to see Alice in Wonderland! I'm a big fan, and hoping for big things! Hopefully Mr. Burton doesn't let me down!

2010-03-05T18:26:00.000-08:00

What a week! Never, ever in my life have I felt like I deserved a weekend as much as I do now!

How are you guys? Tell me something good.

2010-02-18T06:40:00.000-08:00

We drove up Highway 1 to Gualala. Only a few hours drive, but it was some of the most beautiful scenery I've ever seen. Not much going on in the town of Gualala - lots of peace, quiet, and nature. And an awesome pizza place with great sourdough crust. Mostly we played on the beach, did a bit of hiking, drank some beer, and chilled out. It was perfect!

2010-02-18T06:27:00.000-08:00

A few things I'm excited about at 6:28 on a Thursday morning:

1. A few months into it, and I still really like my job. Even better, my job seems to really like me.

2. Ant is still asleep, so I don't have to share my pot of coffee.

3. Artichokes.

4. Our sweet new pad.

5. The cool neighborhood our sweet new pad is in.

6. My garden. My garden is soooo cool.

7. My commute has been cut in half.

8. The cool documentary on Ram Dass we watched (stream it on Netflix).

I'll be back later.

2010-01-10T20:58:00.000-08:00

Remember this post? Seriously, take a moment and check it out. I'll wait.

Well, I'm super thrilled to report that I got a brand-spanking new, nonsmelly wetsuit! Woo hoo! Dudes, I am totally stoked!

2010-01-10T09:44:00.000-08:00

I'm still here, and I gotta say that life is good. I somehow managed to trick a fantastic agency into hiring me (SUCKAHS!!!) so I'm working a lot at a job that I'm absolutely loving! Unfortunately, the job also involves a commute, which I have a love/hate relationship with, depending mostly on whether or not I drag my ass out of bed in time to have a proper amount of coffee before I need to head out the door.

Otherwise, not much going on. Trying to make up for all the cash I spent while I wasn't employed (or was employed but not getting paid) doesn't leave room for much of a social life, but that's cool cause I've been feeling a bit like a homebody lately, anyway.

Been running, rowing, climbing, and surfing pretty sporadically - part laziness, part figuring out a new job/schedule, and part waves not cooperating. But, I have been making it to Bikram class on a pretty regular basis. I'm feeling pretty good. And, if I do say so myself, I'm looking pretty good, too, since I finally got around to changing my hair color yesterday. Trust me, it had been waaaaaay too long.

Have a few super cool things coming up, including a few longer trail races. This will be the first time I've done any competitive racing in years, so I'm really looking forward to it.

That's all for now, but I'll be back soon with some proper updates. :-)

2009-12-02T15:12:00.000-08:00

So, I've finally decided that it's well past time I begin to search for a job. Sent a few resumes out this morning, so hopefully I'll be able to trick one of them into thinking I actually want to be working for a living instead of playing.

In other news, I'll be volunteering at the PCTR Woodside Trail Run this Saturday, so if you're running it you can see my bright, smiling face at the runner check-in and again at the finish area. I know a lot of you are doing various events in various areas of the world this weekend, so best of luck to all of you!

2009-11-24T16:54:00.000-08:00

Think it's too early for a beer?

5...

4...

3...

2...

1 1/2...

1...

OK. I gave you guys plenty of opportunities to object, but I heard nothing. I'm cracking one open!

2009-11-24T15:51:00.000-08:00

Added 11 miles to my weekly mileage today, making my grand total for this week...11 miles. Hey, it's only Tuesday, gimme a break.

I ran almost to Sausalito and back, and then looped around the roads here for a few more miles. Started off rough - lots of small aches and pains - ankles, knees, shins, right hip and left shoulder were all bitching at once - that gradually went away when they realized I was only going to ignore them. I also walked for about 45 seconds somewhere near the 8 mile mark, so I suck for that but whatever.

That's it. That's my life.

I gotta find a job and some friends before I die of boredom.

2009-11-24T12:47:00.000-08:00

Check out my sweet new tattoos! Only 17 hours in the chair! Hardly any bleeding! Alright, alright...before my mom and dad have about 6 strokes apiece...they're only tights. I wore them to the Black Rock Arts Festival on Friday night. I also wore these super awesome gloves that made everything I touched feel satiny. They also looked great with vodka (trust me, fashionistas, you don't want your drink to clash with your gloves). See?

They also, apparently, made my hands look about 6 times the size of my face.

It was a pretty cool fundraising event, and we were very exuberantly informed at the end of the night that it made a "shit ton" of cash, so I guess that's cool. The money goes towards something or other having to do with Burning Man, which I'm not really into for various reasons, but Ant's into it, and I'm into him, so off I went. There were dancers and contortionists and DJ's and lots of bare skin, which is always a good combination in my book, and overall I'd say the evening was much, much cooler than I had anticipated and I MIGHT (I said MIGHT) even be changing my totally biased opinion about paying a small fortune to sit in the desert for a week, dressing funny and staring at a bunch of fire and lights. Here's a few more pics - sorry about the craptacular photography skills.

Cool, right? And here's me after getting cold and stealing the jacket to Ant's costume, then Ant and his friend Gail, then some weirdo, and then a dude playing the xylophone. What's not to love?

2009-11-23T19:20:00.000-08:00

2009-11-19T07:57:00.000-08:00

Goodmorning everyone.

That's Chris Marten on the left, and Mick Dawson on the right. We went to hear them talk last night at the Marin Rowing Club. Those two totally normal looking dudes just sat their asses in a small boat and rowed their way, unsupported, to San Francisco from Japan. How freaking cool is that?!? I know zilch about rowing and I loved their story! Chris kept a blog while they were at sea for 190 days - you can check out their awesome story here.

Also been having great runs, great improvements at the climbing gym, and started a small weight lifting routine. Still not sure how far I'm going (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEONE GET ME A GARMIN!!) but I'm guessing it's pretty far, and I'm able to run (slowly) for a few hours without feeling like I'm gonna die if I take one more step.

And, I'm not the only one running! Einstein is back! Woo hoo!!!!!!

2009-11-17T09:26:00.000-08:00

Hung out with my friend Pabst B. Ribbon the other day. We had a good time.

2009-11-14T11:23:00.000-08:00

Just spent a few days playing at The Pinnacles, which is a place I absolutely love. It's so close to San Francisco, but still feels worlds away. It's nice for me to have a refuge like that since I'm not much of a city girl.

Highlights included a tasty dinner of S'mores and beer and a 13 mile hike that included dark, scary caves, a sucky hill, warnings about being eaten by wild pigs, fence climbings, rain, and tons of gorgeousness. We hiked the Chalone trail to the highest peak on the North side of the park - only about 3,500 feet, but it was pretty tough. This trip also proved my theory that penis-shaped rocks are always funny.

We stopped at the climbing gym on our way home despite the fact that we smelled a little like alcoholic bums who had been set on fire (it was below freezing at night, so we spent a lot of time by the campfire).

As for today, looks like some more climbing, and then I'll head out for a nice long run while Ant goes kiting or surfing.

It's a good life. Just wish some of my friends were on this section of the globe so I could share it with them.

2009-11-10T06:39:00.000-08:00

I slept in today...until 4:30. Without anything to do during the days, I'm definitely babystepping my way out of this jet lag!

In other news - did you guys watch House last night? Hugh Laurie, if you're reading this, I would totally make out with you.

2009-11-09T06:28:00.000-08:00

I don't know about the conditions where you guys live, but over here in my little corner of the world Mother Nature has some seriously bad PMS. Foggy, raining, and I've never seen the ocean so angry before! Yesterday, Ant and I strolled to our favorite spot on the cliffs at Fort Cronkhite to watch the waves pounding the shore, and it was an awesome display! We were at least 150 feet up, and we were getting sprayed by waves on a regular basis. Check out the video:

Pretty cool, right? And here's a few more pictures.

2009-11-08T15:50:00.000-08:00

If you could marry an inanimate object, I would totally run off and elope with breakfast.

Ant, Taylor, Todd, and I recovered from last night's festivities with some coffee and eggs benedict at the Americana Cafe, which, despite its name is actually a Vietnamese restaurant.

It was a good way to fuel up before our brief but awesome hike at Fort Cronkhite. Pics later...I'm late for naptime!

2009-11-07T09:03:00.000-08:00

In anticipation of a nasty hangover tomorrow morning, I decided to switch up my schedule and get my long run in this morning. I'd now like to proudly announce that due to having zero knowledge of this area and super craptacular mapmyrun skills, I have apparently set a new world record by running 31.3 miles in a little over an hour. Take that, Meb!

Line for autographs forms to the left, people. No need to push.

So, ummm...it turns out that Edgewood Lane and Edgewood Avenue are two totally different streets that just happen to live within half a centimeter of each other on google maps. Who knew? I never bothered to fix the slight mapping error, so I can't say for sure, but it's entirely possible that I didn't run 31.3 miles this morning.

But I did leave my mark on the Dipsea Trail by puking all over it. Yeah, I'm a pretty classy girl. I figured since I didn't really know where I was and wasn't sure how to get back to where we're staying it might actually help me if something happened and CSI: Mill Valley had to come looking for me. They could start tracing my route from the snot rocket near the slide at the park, to the one out front of Balboa Cafe...after that they might be a little confused for awhile but if they happen to be runners they'd most likely figure that I'd loop around the mill...another snot rocket at the Eileen Fisher store, then the puke on the Dipsea steps...really, I'm all about personal safety.

So, enough about me. Let's talk about...ME! What? You were expecting some witty political commentary or something? Is this your first time here? As far as I know there are about 3 people who read this thing, which means I don't feel obligated to put much work into coming up with witty prose, and that suits me just fine. Anyway...

Finally talked to my parents. They're fine, thanks for asking. I was back in the U.S. for approximately 5.3 minutes before I received the eagerly anticipated, "Welcome home, now go find a job" email from my mom, and I think it was less than his record 3.7 seconds into the conversation with my dad when he blurted out, "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SETTLE DOWN?!?!?" I immediately went into EMERGENCY SWITCH THE TOPIC MODE by mentioning something about my brothers, thereby sparing the dreaded, "When I was your age, I was blah, blah, blah..." stories. Overall, it was quite painless. It's much easier now that he's retired, and not always being bombarded with stories about people I went to high school with.

"So-and-so stopped by the store today...she's having a baby, you know."
"She's been having babies pretty regularly since she was 14. Is that the life you always wanted for your only daughter?"
"Well...at least she's settled down!"

It has occurred to me that I should probably ask him what his definition of "settled down" is, but I'm afraid it would just make my ears bleed.

As for Einstein, he's not up and running yet, but I have been to visit him several times and lovingly decorated him by drawing hearts in all the dust he's covered in. The problem is I have to get him registered and insured. Fair enough. Except my driver's license is totally MIA. So, instead of cruising around in the cutest car ever, I am stranded in a beautiful house with a never ending supply of fantastic food, surrounded by enormous ancient Redwood trees and only a few minutes walking distance from the awesome Dipsea trail, Muir Woods, and Mt. Tam trails. Yup, stuck here because I can't remember where I safely stored my license, which I need for insurance and registration. Sigh. WILL THE PROBLEMS OF THE FIRST WORLD NEVER END?!?!?

Alright, time for me to sign off. Now that I've dumped all the bacon out of my stomach, I need to go fill it up again.

2009-11-07T06:25:00.000-08:00

Note to self: Nights are for beer and sleeping. Days are for beer and playing and staying awake.

Man, this jet lag sucks! I'm up somewhere between 1:30 - 3 every morning. Then, of course, I'm too exhausted to really enjoy my afternoons, and I end up falling asleep super early.

In terms of being American again, I've done nothing besides a few trail runs through Muir woods and the Dipsea trail, fall off the routes at the climbing gym, drink PBR, and buy some super sweet black heels for a wedding we have to go to tonight. And I've also managed to eat my own weight in bacon.

It's not a bad life.

How are you guys?

2009-10-29T16:28:00.001-07:00

DUDES!! It's my last day! Tonight we head down to Joel's place for the weekend (YAY!), and on Monday we fly back to the States!!! Can I get a high five?!?

2009-10-28T22:08:00.000-07:00

Busy, busy, busy trying to get out of this job and this country. Everything except beer drinking has been sporadic - only getting in a very few short runs lately. I'll be back in the States on Monday so expect me to open my big mouth then!!!

2009-10-15T21:45:00.000-07:00

I quit my job today!

2009-10-05T05:30:00.000-07:00

Teddy, Lindsey, and I have some seriously sweet moves. We never could've pulled them off without Joel's awesome DJ skills. See us under that umbrella...ella...ella...ella? I somehow managed to hit two people with it on my way back to Joel's place after the bar. What the heck were those people doing out on the streets at 4 a.m. anyway?!? Their mothers would be so ashamed!

It's not even my umbrella! I "borrowed" it from whoever brought it to the bar! Ha! Now it's in my living room. :-)

2009-10-04T20:16:00.000-07:00

My neighbor just banged on my door and asked me to stop singing. SUCK IT, NEIGHBORS!! I'm channeling my inner Beyonce over here, and you're busting up my groove!!!

Clearly they don't recognize talent when it slaps them in the face. Perhaps if they had seen the awesome dance moves accompanying my singing they would feel differently.

2009-10-04T02:02:00.000-07:00

Since most of you back East are just waking up (hi, mom!) I offer you a little cuteness to get your day started:

Just a few of my first graders, trying desperately to master the difference between the letter 'P' and the letter 'F.' From top to bottom: Michelle, Alice, Clark, John, and Dave.

2009-10-04T01:46:00.000-07:00

My job continues to infuriate me, most recently by not giving me my diploma back - which is actually illegal. My employers seem to be incredibly gifted at bending and stretching the law, and then suddenly following it just before they're about to get penalized, so I'm sure I'll get it back, it's just a freakin' hassle for something that should be totally hassle free. On my own personal HOW MUCH ARE THE RACIST, SEXIST LIARS I WORK FOR BOTHERING ME TODAY SCALE, this actually falls pretty low, as I can easily buy another one from my university (apparently the 35+ grand I spent on the 1st one didn't include the cost of a copy), it's just one more frustrating battle to get what is rightfully mine. Every month it's something, from them not paying me, to them paying me but taking mysterious fees out of my check, etc., etc. But, at least I don't have this guy's job! And, at least I'm not poor Kevin:

2009-09-30T19:09:00.000-07:00

Freaking Achilles. That man and his use of alliteration cracks me up. :-)

2009-09-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

I'm scheming again. :-) I can totally see Ant giving me that look after he reads this. But, no matter!!! Plans for Jes and Ant's Big Ol' Journey of Fun, Adventure, and Excitement are already underway!

There ain't no stopping a plan in motion! Woo Hoo!!!

2009-09-29T23:09:00.000-07:00

My daydreaming time is being spent shopping for a standup paddle board. When it comes time for me to actually buy one (Jeez, I can't wait to get back to America) I'll probably end up with a decent used one, as these are all in the 2 grand range and I don't have that kind of loot to drop on one right now. I think the middle one is my fave, as natural materials always appeal to me more than synthetic, but it's ridiculously heavy and twice as long as Einstein. The bottom one is the first one I've seen that looks like a big fish (a whale?), so I thought it was cute.

Anyway.

It'd probably be fun to paddle on the Han. Doubt I can find a decent board that big anywhere in Korea, though. And there is that rumor of the Han River Monster...I definitely don't want to be swallowed up by any kind of river monster.

2009-09-28T08:47:00.000-07:00

Got tricked into eating vegetables tonight when I came to the sad realization that those dishes really weren’t going to wash themselves. So, it was scrub down some pots and pans and cook up some flesh (Mmmm…flesh) or find something else. In the end, laziness won out and I threw together a salad with some veggies and hard boiled eggs that were taking up space in the fridge.

I told myself I would feel good about using the veggies, instead of allowing them to take their normal route, which is something along the lines of this: Carried home from grocery store --> put away in fridge with all sorts of yummy plans for them --> time passes --> “JES!!! What the F is this nasty shit in our fridge???!!!??? Wait…maybe this soft, bendy green thing is OK to eat – is it some kind of weird Korean vegetable?” “Uh…that was a carrot when I bought it.”

Anyway, you get the picture, it’s something pretty close to that – except Ant doesn’t curse that much. But whenever I do my Ant impersonation (which he looooves), I throw a bunch of swear words in.

Jeez. I’m rambling. So…thought I’d at least feel good about not wasting so much food (I really do hate wasting food) but it turns out I feel just like someone who had to force down a salad when they really wanted a burger.

Waking up early to run, 40 minutes of Bikram after school instead of my usual nap, and a salad for dinner?!? Dear Flying Spaghetti Monster, what the heck has happened to me?!?

Anyway, after a phone call to SF that probably cost me an entire man won, I got a text from my coteacher (coteacher is a totally legitimate word here in Korea) about having some beers. Being good – and broke – I declined, but then I got this gem of a text, “BOB THE HOMEROOM TEACHER IS HERE!!!!” Well, why didn’t you freaking say so?!?

Bob. Bob the homeroom teacher. The funniest man on the face of the planet. I’m not even kidding when I say he’s so cool that having a few beers with him was actually an item on my bucketlist. He even talked me into drinking soju by promising on his wife that I was better looking than any Russian prostitute in Korea. Nice, Bob. If I ever have a 3rd grader, she/he is completely in your hands!!

So, I’m home…a little tipsy but not full on drunk, and I’m off to bed.

But first, a message for my awesome buddy Achilles, who spent an entire evening with me last weekend speaking really, really bad Spanglish. Actually, I don’t even know if it could be considered Spanglish, since we mostly just added an ‘O’ to every single word. Kind of like this:

Me: No mas cerveza or shot-o, because-o mi es drunk-o. Ant-o will be mad-o.

Achilles: Ant-o es in the bathroom-o

Me: Bring-o it on-o!!!

So Achilles-o, here-o you go-o: Gracias por introducing-o mi to Florence-o and the Machine-o. I love-o them mucho mucho. And-o I also love-o you!!

Goodnight, everyone. I think morning is going to come way too quickly for me!

2009-09-27T23:33:00.001-07:00

I normally wake up around 5 and try to haul my ass out of bed before 5:30, so when I say I got up retardedly early for my run today, it ain't no joke.

Map My Run says I logged a good 6.8 miles. I just know I ran until I didn't feel so fucking nuts anymore, then went home. Apparently, I've been hauling around 6.8 miles worth of crap bouncing around in my brain, mostly centering on not wanting to be where I am vs. trying to suck it up and just *be* where I am.

It was a gorgeous morning, and running so early meant there was actually some breathing room in the normally crowded streets of Seoul. I took advantage of the extra room and let not one, not two, but...SEVEN (!!!) snot rockets fly!

2009-09-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

Me: GOODNIGHT WORLD!!

World: SWEET DREAMS, JES!!!

Ant's in SF for a bit visiting friends, family, and the Pacific. And the grocery store, with a long list of yummy food items to bring back for me (hello, Wasabi Wow trail mix and cinnamon frosted pop tarts!!!). His absence isn't so bad during the day, but nobody saying goodnight to me before I drift off makes me a little sad.

But, drift off is what I'm about to do. Most of you are just getting your Sunday started, and mine's over. I'll never get used to it.

2009-09-27T02:58:00.000-07:00

I just managed to cut my right hand, and then simultaneously burn my left hand, mouth, and chin, all while making dinner!!

Who's totally smooth?

Oh yeah. That'd be me.

2009-09-27T02:24:00.000-07:00

Ant took me to Everland, which is Korea's rip-off of Disney World, for my birthday. Only it was a week after my birthday, cause I actually felt like crap on the day of my birth. Anywho. We had a great time. I like amusement parks - I like the rides and the food and the energy and Everland is a great one! A two-headed turtle, a big, scary roller coaster, and brand spankin' new running sneakers. It's gonna be hard to top this one! Thanks, Ant!

2009-09-27T01:37:00.000-07:00

So I just got finished with a project writing a few articles (occasionally people actually pay me to write shit for them, but it's usually topics I don't care too much about) on...wait for it...herpes. More specifically, on different treatments for herpes simplex virus type 1, which is the one that causes cold sores, not the "other" sores.

While researching, I read a bunch of crap that was designed to be a Q&A session, where people post questions about possible exposure or outbreaks, and the doctor answers them. I bet there's no way in hell they were answered by a real doctor, but that's not the point...

About 75% of the questions (which were primarily written by women, but again I think they're made up) started with statements like, "I had brief oral sex with a man for about a minute..." and "The oral sex was unprotected and lasted about 2 minutes total..." ONE MINUTE??? TWO MINUTES, TOTAL??? What the heck, people? Why bother? Who has oral sex for only one minute?!? [ed. note: except me, mom and dad. i'm not married so i don't do such nasty, filthy things, not even for only 1 minute. in fact, i had to look up what the term 'oral sex' meant.].

Jeez. No wonder I see so many unhappy people walking down the street. ;-)

2009-09-26T00:55:00.000-07:00

Only one of those pictures is an actual giraffe, but I'm not telling which one.

2009-09-26T00:35:00.000-07:00

And now...STRICTLY FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE...Ladies and Germs, I present to you (drumroll, please)...

A TWO-HEADED TURTLE!!!!!!!!!!!

Ant thought they must argue all the time over every little decision that had to be made, but I just figured they solved any disputes in the typical Korean fashion: rock, scissors, paper.

This little dude lives at the COEX aquarium, which we went to as part of my birthday celebration. Ant went terribly far out of his way to make my birthday special, and I think he's totally awesome for it. Not only did we visit the two-headed turtle, but we got to hang upside down on some cool rides at Everland, too. Pics of that may or may not be coming, depending on my motivation level.

The trip to the aquarium was the second one we went to together, the first being Monterrey. I think I liked that one better, but only because Betty White approves of it, and they let you get your picture taken hatching out of an egg.

2009-09-25T22:19:00.000-07:00

“Nature does not hurry,
Yet everything
Is accomplished.”
-Lao Tzu

I have always loved this quote, and lately more than ever before I find that it really applies to my running. Certainly, nobody who has seen me on any of my recent runs around town would think I was in a hurry to get anywhere. I am slow. Very steady, but slow. I know there are points during every single run I have where I could push myself harder, make my legs churn faster, my arms pump quicker, make it up that hill before the dude with the walker, but I don’t. I guess at this time of my life I prefer a steady, balanced pace as opposed to constant stops and starts, even if it does mean that it will no doubt take me longer to get to where I need to be.

I’m OK with that. I’m OK with being slow because I have realized that at the end of each and every run I go on, what needed to be accomplished has been accomplished. Even things I didn’t set out to do, or didn’t even know had to be done. At the end of every run, I find that the stresses I was not able to withdraw from have instead withdrawn from me. I find that I am physically stronger, and my senses are sharper. I am able to really listen, instead of just hear. Instead of wanting to close my eyes and make it all go away, I see nothing but beauty in this concrete jungle that at times seems more like an imprisonment than a living situation I chose to put myself in. And my voice is, without doubt, louder, clearer (though still lispy), and – foul language and all – totally my own. The other voice that takes all too much joy in reminding me of my insecurities, faults, illness, and past mistakes is silent, finally recognizing that there is a force within me that it just cannot stand up to.

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I sometimes wish I were naturally faster – so much so that more than once I have worked out elaborate training plans designed to increase my speed, and I could probably quote from memory every workout described in almost every “RUN YOUR FASTEST 5K/10K/HALF/FULL MARATHON EVER!!” article. But then I hear someone mention the date and comment on how it will soon be getting cold, and I realize that I know this not because of the date on the calendar, but because of the two golden leaves that appeared overnight on the tree I run by every day. I know exactly how much progress they are making on the bike path they’re installing near our apartment - not because I saw the newspaper article or cruised by in a taxi, but because I run past there so often that the workers have actually waited for me during rainy weather to tell me that even though it wasn’t open yet, I could run on the finished part of the track in order to avoid the muddy conditions of the area surrounding it. I know, during those rare moments when the sky is visible through all the pollution, exactly where to look to see the first star of the evening, because at my speed you certainly don’t make it home before dark. If I were too focused on shaving seconds off my time, speeding ahead as fast as I could go, running would still have offered me these gifts, but I would not have noticed them.

Running in the slow lane will never get me Nike sponsorships and trophies or the ability to run alongside Kara Goucher and tell her personally how fucking cool I think she is (even if I did meet her, I could never keep up), but it has given me the gift of getting to know - and really like - myself again, and of learning to accept progress one slow step at a time.

2009-09-21T20:31:00.001-07:00

I am never, ever, ever going to stop laughing about the fight Alex and Jordan just got into in the cafeteria.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! HAAAAAAAA! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Hahahahaha.

Ha.

2009-09-16T23:43:00.000-07:00

Patrick Swayze AND Mary Travers?!? Sheesh. The stars of my childhood are dropping like flies!

I must be getting old.

Oh, that's right...I am. Just turned 33 on Monday. Thanks to all for the b-day wishes. Best part of my b-day was, no doubt, going to visit the two-headed turtle.

It's a good life, and I'm thankful to be where I am and grateful for all the awesome people and things I have.

2009-08-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

I'm injured.

Crap Crap Crap. Double Crap. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

It started on vaca (have I mentioned that I spent 2 1/2 weeks in paradise while you guys were working?) when I was running on what they called a "road," and I tripped. Of course I tripped. I'm the biggest klutz in the world. Anyway, in an all-out effort to keep from face planting on a pile of rocks, I did whatever it is you do in a situation like that and somehow really fucked up my shoulder. Wasn't too worried - it was nothing that a butt-load of ibuprofen couldn't take care of. I figured I pulled something and in a few days it would be just fine.

But it's not fine. It's been bothering me quite a bit, though not enough to keep me from running. Just enough to keep me from ENJOYING my runs.

And then, this morning, on my run through the park, I got totally flattened by a mean 8 year old on a bike. She came off the pedestrian ramp like her life depended on it, probably didn't bother to look before she crossed the 2 bike lanes, and totally slammed into me. From behind, so I didn't see it coming, didn't brace myself, didn't have a second to try and get out of the way. I fell, hard, and she half rode over me and half fell on...my shoulder. My left arm has been rendered useless, my knees are scraped, and I have a bump/bruise on my forehead. And the poor little girl just cried and cried and cried - especially when she saw I was a round-eye. Poor thing!

Anyway, whatever I had already done to my shoulder was totally aggravated. Tomorrow's a scheduled rest day anyway, so hopefully by Saturday it'll be OK. You don't go through the health problems I've gone through without being forced to learn a thing or two about how to suck it up and handle physical pain, but holy cow it hurts right now!

Nothing else to report - except a random Korean dude in the coffee shop I'm holed up in just gave me an ice cold can of Cherry Coke. How sweet is that?!? For those of you back home, Cherry Coke is not an easy item to locate over here.

Just when I think the Universe hates me (fair enough - it did run me over on a bike this morning) it redeems itself by tossing a can of yummy Cherry Coke in my lap! Now if only it would deliver a pizza or a sandwich or something - I'm freaking starving!!!

2009-08-26T05:01:00.000-07:00

Well, after a ridiculously small amount of deliberation and a ridiculously long phone call with Orbitz, Ant decided to stay in the Philippines. Cause, dude, there's some sweet swell coming in, bro. He extended his stay for 11 more days, which, believe it or not, is the longest we've been apart since the moment we laid eyes on each other (clearly the best day of his life). Can you guys believe it took him that long to take a break from me?!? :-) Shit, even I don't go that long without taking a break from me!

Not surprisingly, I miss having the ol' ball and chain around, especially when it's time to refill my coffee mug or beer glass. It's been pretty boring and quiet without him at home. I was getting a bit mopey being all by myself, until finally I decided that maybe this break was a good thing for us, and maybe I should take this time and really figure some stuff out.

So, I've decided to see other people.

And while I was a bit unsure and nervous at first, it's actually gone pretty well.

Last night, for example, I had a few beers with Daniel Craig (you know, the famous British Secret Service guy, 007?), before moving on to dinner with that guy from the Transporter movies. Who cares what his name is - have you seen him?!? Hotness like that does not require a name. By the time dinner was finished I was pretty beat and thought I'd just head to sleep, but then I decided to check in on an old high school flame, Zac Efron. I headed to sleep as soon as Zac finished serenading me about how he won the big state basketball game - I mean, 3 in one night is plenty...any more than that and people are gonna start to talk.

Sadly, none of them put out. But, anything before the third date and I'd think they were too easy, anyway. :-)

Oh, and I've also invented a new cuisine. Mexican/Korean fusion. I'm still deciding on the name - either Korexican or Mexorean. What do you guys think? All dishes are served with tortillas and sides of guac, sour cream, and kimchi. :-)

2009-08-24T06:14:00.000-07:00

Role models? No. But I do consider us to be people that everyone should try to be like. They should try.

2009-08-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

Over 24 hours of travel, 3 checks for swine flu, and one interview from customs and I'm back in Seoul. It's been a whirlwind of crappy food, going away parties, beer and vodka, and the coolest sunglasses ever since I got off the airport bus yesterday morning. Updates on EVERYTHING soon.

I've got one thing on my agenda tomorrow: Run far, and (hopefully) somewhat fast. Now, I'm off to bed. G'night.

2009-08-15T19:53:00.000-07:00

2009-08-13T23:57:00.000-07:00

The other day we rented some kayaks and paddled around to some of the neighboring islands. When we got to one we met a couple schoolgirls, and it took them about 0.003 seconds to fall madly in love with Ant. Totally understandable, in my opinion. :-) They followed him everywhere he went, giggling hysterically the whole time, and slowly working up the nerve to inch their way closer to him. Occasionally, one of them would shove one of the other girls in his general direction, and she would scream and run back to the protection of her girlfriends. It was quite funny and endearing, especially when they started offering commentary to each other, "Look! He's drinking the water!" "Now he is sitting down!" I could have stayed and enjoyed the entertainment all afternoon, but soon it was time to leave and make the journey back to Cloud 9. As we were getting ready to shove off, they finally worked up the nerve to ask him his name, and he snapped a pic (well, he says pic, I say total crotch shot - you guys be the judge) of them.

Other than that, it's been a whole lotta nothing, day in and day out. There's 2 decent surf sessions a day, and in between those we sit around, read, play cards, go for a swim, and just pretty much pass the time by doing whatever. It's been awesome. I've been running, which has turned out to be a great way to meet the locals. Some of the kids come out and run with me for a few minutes when I pass their house - they think it's hysterical - and most of the adults cheer me by name. Even some of the other tourists are like, "Dude, you're the girl we saw running down the street. You're nuts!"

One more week until I head back to Seoul, where brutal reality and air pollution will no doubt slap me in the face. At least I have Shells' visit to look forward to!

2009-08-11T19:58:00.000-07:00

2009-08-09T23:21:00.000-07:00

LOOK!!!! I DID IT!!! WOO HOO!!! Dudes, I am so stoked. :) Think Einstein can carry a long board?

2009-08-03T15:35:00.000-07:00

I interrupt these posts about our trip to Songnisan to say that even during vacation, my job makes me hate it more by sending me stupid emails with thinly veiled threats and poor grammar and words that they think are English but don't actually exist.

They made things so miserable for Ant that he quit. They had pretty much left me alone up until the last month or so, leaving me to wonder why they were so awful to everyone else while I was having it pretty easy - now it looks like they've run out of people to bother and have set their sights on me. It's gonna take nothing short of a miracle to get me through the last 6 months of my contract.

2009-08-03T00:19:00.000-07:00

Just got back from a 3 day trip to Songnisan National Park. It was an awesome trip, and if you're in Korea and you enjoy hiking you should really make it a priority to get there. If you're in Seoul you can take a direct bus from Nambu bus terminal, but the schedule is a bit inconvenient so we took a bus from EBT to Cheongu, then a different bus from Cheongu to the park entrance. Took a little over 3 hours, cost about 12,500 won each way. We left a little later than we had planned, so Saturday was pretty much a bust in terms of hiking. We tried, but there were a ton of park employees at the gate telling us it was closed. Instead, we walked around the town, found a place to sleep, dumped our bags, and went back out to explore the town a bit. Had some Dong Dong Ju and seafood pajean for a snack, then walked around some more until stopping for dinner. A few pics of the town, as well as the truck that was driving around selling all sorts of goodies, including dog meat: We found a cute, cheap minbak to stay in. No beds, so we slept on padded mats (called yohs, and quite common in Korea) that the minbak provided. The place seemed to be run by one lady, and she was super friendly and the whole place was spotless.

After being denied access to the park, we wandered around town some more and spent some time making fun of the sculptures in the sculpture garden outside of the campground. Dinner the first night was awesome! I unfortunately can't remember the name of the dish we had, but it was some sort of mushroom stew with all sorts of mountain vegetables, and of course the usual side dishes, rice, and beer. It was a family run place, and the Korean ajumma who runs the place actually goes into the mountains herself and gathers the mushrooms and veggies. We ate soooo much!

After dinner we wandered a bit more, then headed back to the minbak to see if there was anything in English on the TV. We found The Bourne Ultimatum. Total score!!!

2009-07-31T18:09:00.001-07:00

So, Thursday night I got back from what might be the best run I've ever had. I was having so much fun at the park that I went 3.5 miles farther than I had planned, which made it longer than my long run of the week. When I got home, I saw that not only was I red-faced and dripping with sweat, but I had little dead bugs clinging to my neck and face. So, of course I took a picture for you guys. Only, as I moved my head towards the camera I got sweat in my eye. OUCH! So, instead of dead bugs, you get my, "OMG! THERE'S SWEAT IN MY EYE!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!" face.

We're off to the mountains now. Catch you in a few days - be good!

2009-07-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

Know one of the many things I love about Korea?

The fact that they've never given up on the hula hoop. The other night Ant and I were at our favorite watering hole downing a few cold ones, and he was like, "Hey, look! There's hula hooping going on over there!" And sure enough, right in the middle of the street at 9:30 at night some ajumma was just giving that hula hoop all she had! It was awesome. Even my gym has a bunch of hula hoops, and the ladies all just get in a circle and hula hoop forever while catching up on the latest gossip.

In other news, it's our last day of work! Tomorrow we head south to Songnisan National Park, and Tuesday we head to the islands!!!

Woo Muthafuckin' Hoo!!!!

2009-07-30T17:08:00.000-07:00

Weekly totals 25 July 2009 - 31 July 2009:

Running - 26
Biking (Grrr!! I hate thieves!) - 12 (thanks for letting me use your bike, Ant)
Hiking - 0 :-(

My unscheduled rest day kept me from reaching my goal of 30 miles this week. Next week 35 fo' sho'!!!

2009-07-29T14:38:00.000-07:00

I know I promised you guys some pictures of monkeys and haven't delivered yet - I've been a bit busy. I'm very busy and important over here, you know.

Ran last night, and it really sucked. My body just wasn't in the groove it needed to be to complete the miles, and even with Rockzilla I was bored. Boredom is my kryptonite. It just kills me! But, I finished the planned run anyway and then headed to the gym to do a bit of weights. I was feeling a bit down by the small amount of weight I was lifting. I kept thinking, "I know I'm stronger than this!! Why am I so freaking weak today? I don't even feel tired! OMG, what if I'm sick again? I was soooo weak when I was diagnosed..." And then I remembered that the weights are in kgs instead of lbs. Haha. Makes a bit of a difference. Geez, I'm a moron. But, I'm a fairly strong moron, so at least I've got something going for me!!

So...here's what I'm thinking about my bike situation (I promise I'll shut up about it soon), and please feel free to weigh in. I was gonna just go and buy a bike similar to Tara - relatively cheap, cruiser style - because when we leave here in a few months I'll just have to basically find someone to give it to or ditch it somewhere. Which means I will have to get yet another bike when we move to wherever we move to next (What's that? There are apartments for rent in Manitou Springs, CO? Hmmm...did you hear that, Ant?!?). That will be the 5th bike I've paid for in 3 years (although one was a gift so that doesn't really count).

I was planning a surprise trip to Hong Kong for Ant and I for our upcoming anniversary, then he surprised me by saying he was going back home during that time (and didn't surprise me at all by saying that he didn't even know we had an anniversary - stupid boys), so I have some extra money that in my mind and budget was already spent. I was gonna use the cash to just take myself somewhere (why, hello, Saipan, you're looking lovely this time of year!) but now I'm thinking that maybe I should use that money plus a little extra and just buy a decent bike. I'll have the added expense of shipping it to wherever we go to next, but it might still work out better in the long run.

And if we end up going to a place where I can't use it right away (hello, beaches of Indonesia!) I can just ship it to PA, because what are parents for if not to store their adult children's stuff? Kidding, mom (sort of) (not really).

In other news - 2 more days of work and then a month of vaca! Off to the mountains for 3 days (Songnisan National Park), and then over to Surgao (I totally spelled that wrong - sorry, JoyRun!) for a few weeks of sun, sand, and surf! Man, I love my life!

Alright, enough of my incessant rambling. How are you guys?

2009-07-28T04:26:00.000-07:00

I gave my scheduled run tonight the ol' one finger salute and instead headed to a section of the city I'd never seen before for some beer with a coworker. HEY! Don't freaking judge me! It may not have been the best decision for my plan to be the Universe's most awesomest jogger who occasionally picks up the pace enough to be considered a slow runner, but it was good for my mental health. A few beers, some greasy, fattening food, a shared crossword and much, much name calling and I no longer want to rip out all of my boss' hair strand by strand. That's gotta count for something.

Know what else counts for something? We had a field trip today, and except for the part where my 6th grade boys practiced their extortion skills on my 4th grade boys, it went as smooth as could be expected. I'd even go so far as to say that everyone involved had a good time - except maybe the polar bear, who ate the Capri Sun juice container a student "accidentally" dropped in its' cage. I was fairly angry about it, but my Korean teaching partner thought it was kind of cute, because it was an accident. An accident? He would have had to practically stand on another kid's shoulders to reach over the glass divider to "accidentally" drop it in the cage. Sigh. This was the same boy I had already had a discussion with about how zoo animals don't eat people food, because I busted him throwing potato chips and cookies to the elephant. "I know, Teacher. Accident, Teacher. I won't do again, Teacher. Sorry, Teacher." And 10 minutes later, he feeds a plastic container to an endangered animal and gets a big hug for it. But hey, far be it for me to bring a little social awareness to their young lives. I'm just here for the kimchi.

ANYWAYS - the rest of the field trip was great. Each kid had been assigned an animal they had to research for homework, and when we got to that animal they had to present their material to the rest of us. This was my favorite:

Student: My animal is the lion. They live in Havanna.
Me: They live in Cuba? There are lions in Cuba?
Student: Teacher? Lions don't live in box. Even I know.
Me: Not cube, CubA. It's a country.
Student: Oh. Yes, Teacher. They live in Havanna.
Me: Are you sure you don't mean the Savanna????
Student: Teacher, I don't know. My mom did homework. I just read to you.

I'll post pics later - I got some good ones of the monkeys doing dirty deeds to each other, so make sure you stop back cause you definitely won't want to miss out on them. Right now, my book (The Inheritance of Loss) is calling me, so I need to go get a few chapters in before the ol' ball and chain gets home from work. :-)

2009-07-27T21:59:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA!!! If that's not a new Facebook profile picture then I don't know what is!!!!

2009-07-27T14:49:00.000-07:00

Since some douchebag decided he could take anything he wanted even if it very clearly belonged to someone else I no longer have a bike. Poor Tara. She must be so scared. I hope they spray painted her a decent color, at least.

It totally pisses me off that there were, no kidding, 8 (!!!!) UNLOCKED bikes lying next to Tara, who WAS locked, and they didn't touch even one of those. It's not that I wish someone else's bike had been stolen, it's just that I really, really wish mine hadn't been. Ant (who can remain upbeat about it because he still has a bike) says it's because my bike was the best one there, and he's right - IT WAS THE BEST BIKE EVER!!!! It had fenders, and a huge basket, and it looked skinny and light but actually weighed a freakin' ton - just like me!!! It's because I'm made of Quantonium, like the ultra strong chick in that movie, Monsters vs. Aliens. Seriously.

I had sort of decided without really thinking about it that I wouldn't be able to get another bike while here in Korea. I really can't afford it, and since we're transients here I'd only be able to ride it for a few more months before it would be too cold and icy, and we'll be gone before it warms up again. But just one day of hoofing it and having to take taxis to places that Tara usually took me has me thinking differently. It still seems like a waste of money, but I don't care. I'll probably make it back in saved subway, bus, and taxi fare anyway.

GRRR!!!!

In other news, long run Sunday (long for me, anyway) and it sucked but I powered through. Last night I did 34 minutes (the plan I'm following called for a 30 minute run) while Ant skateboarded along. Well, actually, he skateboarded ahead, then waited for me to catch up, then skateboarded ahead...you get the idea. I'm still enjoying it, but man oh man am I slow. How do you speedy speedsters do it?!?

2009-07-26T15:12:00.000-07:00

Our coffee maker makes this strange sighing sound every ten minutes or so - the type of sound you make when you exhale all your troubles away.

I find it super comforting.

I'm turning into quite the morning person in my old age. That's something I never would have thought I'd become!!! But, here I am, waking up before the sun every morning even though I don't have to, and I'm really enjoying it. I meditate, I put on some music and dance, I read or sometimes get my run on. Sometimes I don't do anything but watch our nosy neighbor watching me.

2009-07-25T22:58:00.000-07:00

There is a special place reserved in hell for people who steal.

I hope whoever took Tara ends up there sooner rather than later. :-(

2009-07-25T15:51:00.000-07:00

Total weekly mileage 18 July, 09 - 24 July, 09:

Running: 24.28
Biking: 23
Hiking: 8.63

Not fantastic by any means, but a shit load better than I've done in a long time. Off for a long run now - hopefully next week I can break 30 miles in the running department.

2009-07-23T14:37:00.000-07:00

I spent most of my morning meditation trying to keep pesky, invasive thoughts about how annoyed I am with some of my coworkers and bosses from creeping into my head and wrecking my peaceful morning vibe. Without going into too much detail, work has not been a positive atmosphere for me lately. In fact, it's totally sucked and the energy has been absolute shite. For my part, I've been avoiding said coworkers when I can and have been a little short with them when I've had to deal with them, so I'm sure I'm not really helping the atmosphere much. I honestly feel like if today wasn't Friday, I'd just quit and drag Ant on the first plane to this place:

Because I know some of my coworkers read this (though probably not the ones who need the message the most) I'd like to point out that the fact that someone doesn't speak a language as well as you does not mean that you are automatically smarter than they are. Using language that you know the other person doesn't understand to make yourself look smarter doesn't actually make you look at all intelligent. If everything in our school were conducted in Korean, which is the language that all but a handful of employees speak, we would all (with the exception of Patrick) end up looking so retarded that in comparison the Special Olympics would look like a Mensa convention.

We are compensated fairly well for doing what amounts to very little work. Why is it so hard to show up on time, sober, and do what little is expected of you? Yes, the administration at our school are racist pricks, but them getting mad because you're an hour late and drunk and falling asleep in class doesn't mean Korea sucks. There's nowhere in the world where that behavior would be tolerated.

OK. I'm letting it go now. I promise.

I'm not psychic, but I definitely see some beer in my future.

2009-07-22T20:41:00.000-07:00

I enjoy riding Tara (get yer minds outta the gutter, folks, Tara is the name of my bike) to work so much that I kind of hope I never have to drive to work again for the rest of my life!

Don't tell Einstein, though.

2009-07-22T19:05:00.000-07:00

Last night Ant took me to see the Harry Potter flick, which was pretty cool of him considering he's the world's biggest muggle. In fact, he probably doesn't even know what a muggle is. But, he went anyway because he's awesome.

And then he slept through much of it. :-)

I must say that I was quite disappointed in the movie. It was such a fantastic book and they could have done such amazing things with he script, but they skipped so much of the good stuff and downplayed lots of other stuff. I also thought Daniel Radcliffe's performance was pretty bad. Just a general lack of emotion and believability. I can understand that as an actor he might be "over" being Harry Potter, but shouldn't he be able to act like he still wants the role?

After the movie we headed over to a chicken hof for some beer and fried chicken (YUM!) and then headed home.

2009-07-22T17:04:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! HA!!!!

2009-07-21T20:49:00.001-07:00

I got to practice my crazy, maniacal laugh today when I took all my kids outside and let them check out the beginning of the eclipse, then told them all kinds of stories about what would happen when the total eclipse occured.

I also tried to get them to sing Total Eclipse of the Heart, but they weren't having it.

2009-07-21T15:18:00.000-07:00

Last night I fell asleep in my stinky running clothes. Then when I woke up this morning, I realized I was already dressed for running, so I ran in them again. Is that gross??? I can tell you that about 18 minutes into my run - and for the remainder of it - it definitely smelled gross.

2009-07-20T15:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday was the hike, and that plus a tiny bit of stretching was enough exercise for me that day.

Sunday I headed out early for a run, and did just over 4 miles (4.38 according to mapmyrun) on the bike path by the river. It had flooded in several spots, and there were crews everywhere working their butts off to clear the water and mud off the path. I love that park so much that I made sure to thank each and every crew member I ran past!

Yesterday I did an easy 3 miler and also threw in a shoulder and back workout at the gym, as well as a butt load of sit ups. Then, I rode my bike to work.

I'm contemplating trying to run from Wolgye to Hwarangdae this evening. Hmmm...I'm more worried about getting lost than I am about finishing it, because I can always just walk if I need to...as long as I can find my way to Seokgye I can cut down to the bike path, and from there I can make it home with my eyes shut.

2009-07-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

Just a few more pics from our little jaunt to Dobongsan. Dobongsan is said to be the most popular mountain in the Seoul area for hiking (although I've heard that said about Bukhansan as well), and the first time we went was waaaay back when we first got here, when Ant was still a little unsure about this whole life in the ROK thing, and we were both so overwhelmed by the crowds and having to stand in line to even get to the trailhead (not to mention that I was already crampy and grumpy) that we just checked out one of the many temples in that area and came back home without hiking. Not sure if it was the 60 - 70 mph gusts on the summit or the serious downpour that kept everyone away, but once we got out of the food stall area we barely passed another person the whole time. It was awesome!! The type of person who will hike in that kind of weather is the type of hiker who just wants to get out on the trails, so their trail etiquette is usually better than the typical groups of drunken ajummas and ajushis you have to deal with on a lot of hikes in nicer weather. Almost everyone we passed summoned up every English word they knew to ask us what we thought of the mountain, or to suggest a trail to take, or to tell us we definitely needed to turn around and get ourselves on a real trail.

Ant, who has since morphed into a true Korean, carried an umbrella the whole way and dutifully finished his makkolli and shin ramyeon after the hike!! I was so proud!! :)

I forget the names, but first we hiked to some lookout rock, then to one of the summits (Obong peak, maybe?), and then down a path that followed a bunch of waterfalls, and thanks to the monsoons they were awesome!!! Mapmyhike listed it from subway to the point where we stopped as 8.63 miles, but that seems a bit - though not too much - longer than we both thought it had been.

2009-07-19T16:53:00.000-07:00

I am seriously craving Wasabi Wow trail mix from Trader Joe's. Man, that stuff is good.

Know what else I'm craving? VACATION!!! 10 more days of work, and I'm finally free!!!!!!

2009-07-19T16:46:00.000-07:00

You guys simply MUST check out Ant's awesome write-up of our hike up, down, and all around Dobongsan! It's sooo cool! And make sure you take a moment to really appreciate my snazzy new pink raincoat!

2009-07-15T19:41:00.000-07:00

Update: My dome house is still on the market! Maybe it's a sign...

I mean, a sign that it's meant for me, not a sign that our economy still sucks and there's zero faith left in the housing market.

2009-07-15T17:26:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling unusually motivated when it comes to exercise lately - especially running. It's a nice feeling to actually look forward to doing a run, instead of trying everything I can think of to trick my feet into getting out the door. For the longest time I'd get to Brown Hill and nearly cry at the sight of those steps just going up, up, up - but now I get there and I'm like, "That's all you got?!? Bring it on!" And then I bounce up them, singing proudly along with Rockzilla, while the Koreans look at me in amazement yet STILL REFUSE TO GET OUT OF MY DAMN WAY!!!!

The extra activity has been a welcome addition to my physical and mental health - I'm feeling better all around. I'm noticing tons of changes in my body - new muscles appearing, old muscles waking up. I haven't been on a scale in ages, but I can tell from looking at me that some of the chubbiness Ant had to pretend not to notice is totally gone. I'm still definitely not at that healthy point where my body actually craves vegetables, but I'm trying to cram more of them down my cramhole anyway. When there's actually room in my cramhole left from all the ice cream and M&M's, I mean.

So yesterday I couldn't run, and I was bummed. I actually missed it. I still got in some exercise - biked to and from work, 45 minutes of Bikram (I skip those stupid breathing poses at the beginning), and a Crossfit workout I've modified to suit my measly arm muscles. Crossfit calls it the "21." I've renamed my version the "11." But, I had a great run planned for after work and I was really excited about it.

And then, I started projectile vomiting with little warning. How fucking sexy is that?!? I was fine all day, and then halfway through my meeting I was like, "Something ain't right here." Out of nowhere! I made it to the Gireum station, but had to rest for quite awhile there. Made it to Nowon, where I have to transfer trains, and it took about as much energy as climbing Everest. Made it to Taerung, which I normally just walk home from to avoid another transfer, but instead I took a nap like a bum on one of the benches while waiting for the brown train. It took me 2 hours to puke my way through what should have been about 30 minutes of travel time. By the time Ant got home from the climbing gym, I was tossing and turning on the bathroom floor, sitting up only to puke my guts out every few minutes. And Ant, who can sometimes be a bit stingy with the compliments, held my hair and rubbed my back while I barfed some more, and said, "I like your outfit. I bet you looked really pretty today - before you started puking, I mean." What is it with men and timing?!?

Today finds me back at work, still feeling yucky but not even close to how yucky I felt last night. Hopefully, I can get some food in me and get a run in tonight - I had planned for some speedwork, but I may end up just doing a few miles around town at an easy pace.

2009-07-14T23:40:00.000-07:00

Had a great run last night - even if it was on the dreaded dreadmill. Seriously, if this crazy monsoon doesn't let up soon I'm gonna KILL someone!

So, the run was a bit longer than I had expected. I get bored running indoors quick, so I never expect much more than a warm-up from treadmill running. I put Rockzilla in charge, because you all know how important it is to occasionally let the men in your lives feel like they're in charge. I told him we would run together for about 20 songs, and as long as he stayed away from Christmas music, he could pick the songs we ran to. Everything was going along fine, until he and the treadmill got into some kind of argument. I was ready to stop - I was BORED, and the only available treadmill at the gym was DIRECTLY in front of a full length mirror. Blech. Running towards yourself for 40 minutes is not pleasurable, and I'm such a klutz that if I don't look straight ahead, I veer off towards wherever I'm looking and end up falling off the treadmill. So, after staring at myself bouncing up and down, getting redder and redder in the face, not going anywhere, I was so bored I wanted to cry, and ready to go.

And Rockzilla was all like, "Oh yeah?!? Well, here's a Chris Cornell song! You won't stop running while Chris Cornell is playing!"

Damn him, he knows me so well!

When the song finished, I was really done, but the treadmill was like, "48:37!! Why would you stop now? A measly 83 seconds and you can say you ran 50 minutes! That's way better than saying you ran 40-some minutes!"

Stupid treadmill. It had a point.

So everytime Rockzilla would agree to let me stop, the stupid treadmill said no, and vice versa, until finally my legs told them both where to go, and I hopped off. Ended up running over an hour, which for me is pretty freaking awesome!

Finished with a pretty hard-core shoulder and back workout (need to be able to hold my own when paddling through those waves in the Philippines), then went home and had a lovely dinner of ice cream and peanut butter and jelly sammiches while chatting with my dad.

So far the rain has held off today (I even rode my bike to school!) so maybe I can run outside tonight!

2009-07-13T16:42:00.000-07:00

With my birthday and Christmas right around the corner, you guys are probably wondering what to get me. I want a dome house. This dome house, to be more specific. It's super close to Yosemite, which is where I dream about living when I actually dream about settling down, and it's listed pretty cheap - cheap enough that I'm assuming something is probably wrong with it, although it is tiny so maybe that's why it's got a low price tag. Once I got rid of the T.V. and painted over that nasty pink color around the fire place, and somehow figured out how to relocate the Pacific Ocean to the backyard for Ant, it would be perfect!

Also, why the heck wouldn't they move the grill and fire extinguisher when they took these pictures?!? Don't they watch HGTV? Who is their agent?!?

So, now you know what to get me. A dome house. And a Garmin Forerunner. I really want a fancy schmancy Garmin, too.

2009-07-13T15:18:00.000-07:00

This was a picture of my coach, who made me take down the half-nekkid pic of him drinking beer on the corner while timing my speed workout for me. Sorry ladies, and boys at Bliss - you'll have to use your imaginations. I ran a few miles around Hwarangdae first, including a jaunt up Brown Hill, then did a bunch of sprints. Yay me.

As for this week, it's been pretty good. Sunday it poured rain all day. Ant had things to do, but I was bored out of my mind, which means I pretty much drove him crazy all day.

"WANNA WATCH A MOVIE?!?"
"Can't. I have to finish this."

5 minutes later....

"WANNA WATCH A MOVIE NOW?!?"
"Can't. I have to finish this."

5 minutes later...

"WANNA WATCH A MOVIE WHEN THE BIG HAND IS ON THE 12 AND THE LITTLE HAND IS ON THE 1?"
"That's in 3 minutes."
"SO?"

Finally, around 6 or so the rain let up a bit and I threw on my snazzy purple running shoes and got outside. I figured I'd run towards Taerung, then cut down to the bike path for a bit, but it was all locked up since the path is flooded. Oh well. Stayed on the roads, stomped in some puddles, and worked out some of my cabin fever.

By the time I got back home, Ant was finished with whatever it was that was sooooo important, so I convinced him to play Scrabble with me. Usually I kick his butt, but I'm incredibly sad to say that this time I lost by a mere 3 points. It was a crushing defeat. I'm still not over it. When I realized it might take more than the 7 tiles I had (all vowels, btw - ugh) to beat him, I tried my best to cheat but he wasn't having it.

"You can't use U.S. It's an abbreviation."
"It's not U.S. It's 'us.' "
"Us? Never heard of it. Sure it's a word?"

3 stinking points. GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Anyway, how have yunz guys been?

2009-07-11T16:56:00.000-07:00

This morning, about halfway through my second cup of coffee, I finished "What I Talk About When I Talk About Running," by Haruki Murakami. It's been out for awhile, so many of you have probably read it, but if you haven't you should think about picking it up. It's a quick, enjoyable read with lots of profound statements to get you really thinking.

Kind of like this blog. HA!

2009-07-11T16:11:00.000-07:00

First, the dull stuff:

1. Ran (yesterday) for 3 miles on the dreadmill at the gym, average pace being 8.6 km/hr. Yeah, it's slow and short, but shut up. Had an AWESOME leg workout using all their shiny new equipment, then went back to the dreadmill and did another 2.5 miles, this time averaging 9 km/hr. Yeah, still pretty slow and short, but shut up.

2. I'm seriously ready for the Monsoon to make it's way outta Seoul. Our beloved bike path is under water, my shoes are always wet, and this constant grayness is pissing me off. As long as it doesn't leave here and head to the section of the Philippines we're going to. Maybe it could go bother someone else for awhile?

3. Got my bathing suits, and I love them - all of them! That's quite an unusual feeling, as usually when I combine my body and tiny little pieces of fabric the first word that comes to mind is certainly not 'love.' I think I'm much more forgiving of my body now that I can shrug and say, "Whatev. I'm in my 30's."

4. Since trying said bathing suits on, I have eaten a dinner consisting entirely of fritos and beer, scarfed down ice cream right before bed on numerous occasions, and had a ridiculous amount of fried chicken. I may not love those bathing suits so much the next time I put them on. Whatev. I'm in my 30's.

And now, some fun stuff:

Friday night Ant and I headed to Seokgye for dinner (dak galbi - yumyumyumyumyum!) and then we walked around for a bit before deciding to stop into some random bar for a beer or two. Maybe 45 minutes or so after we got there, my coworkers showed up. Pretty strange coincidence, indeed, but made for a really fun night.

2009-07-09T22:24:00.000-07:00

Wanna take a moment to wish my wanker big brother Brownie good luck this weekend. He's running some race that's supposed to be pretty hard or something. Whatever. Who can't run 100 miles at altitude these days???

2009-07-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

If I don't get the 2009 ESL Teacher of the Year Award, there's been a huge mistake. Seriously, I should get a raise. A big one.

When it comes to English, there are certain things my 4th graders just refuse to grasp. Indenting is one of those things, and it drives me crazy because they indent in Korean grammar, too. It should be easy, but getting them to do it is like pulling teeth. I say, "Hey, Class!! What do we do to the first line of a paragraph???" And they all yell, "INDENT!!!" but when they write, not one of them does it. MAKES.ME.INSANE!

Africa is another big issue with my 4th graders. They have no trouble believing the ridiculous shit that comes out of my mouth, but try telling them that Africa isn't a country, it's a continent? Forget about it. Check out this little gem of a conversation:

Boy: Teacher! Africa is country with many Obamas!
Me: Many Obamas???
Boy: Yes, Teacher! Obamas! (Points to skin)
Me: Uh...we don't actually refer to Black people as 'Obamas.'
Other student: Teacher! Africa and many, many hungry Obamas!
Me: Hungry Obamas??? Do you mean starving Africans?
Students: YES TEACHER!! Hungry Obamas!!
Me: Guys, not everyone in Africa is starving.
Students: Teacher! Why lie?!?
Other student: Teacher! You know many Obamas?
Me: Seriously, guys, you can't walk around and call all Black people 'Obamas.' It's like calling every Korean person 'Kim' no matter what they're family name is, or saying all Asians are Japanese. You can say, "Black people." It's OK.

But they won't.

Alright, so the term 'hungry Obamas' totally cracked me up and will now be used in my personal repertoire as often as possible, but seriously, why are my students so afraid to use the word Black? I shudder to think of what they used before they learned about Obama.

2009-07-05T03:17:00.000-07:00

I'm off for a run, and I gotta say, I hope it rains while I'm out there 'cause it is freaking H.O.T. Luckily, I have some yummy dubu kimchi to look forward to when I get home.

2009-07-05T02:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, while I went to the gym for some running on the dreadmill and a bit of weight lifting, Ant put on his little apron (you should really pause right now and picture him in an apron...) and made a huge dish of pasta salad for us to take to a potluck at our friend Teddy's house. We decided it would be cool to ride our bikes there, and it really was a cool ride. Of course, 8 hours of tequila, vodka, and beer later the realization that we also had to ride them home hit us like a ton of bricks - much to Joel and Cam's amusement. We went back and forth between just sucking it up and riding home (his argument) and continuing to drink (my clearly logical side of the argument), until we struck a compromise - we'd ride home, and stop at all the makkolli huts we passed on the way.

In case you're ever in that position where you've had a few drinks, but you can't tell exactly how drunk you are, let me tell you that the second you sit your ass on a bike you'll know. As long as I could go in a (relatively) straight line I was OK, but trying to manuever around any object, no matter how large or small? Forget about it.

Anyway, for some reason I didn't take pictures yesterday at Teddy's, but here's a bunch I never posted from the other week when we all got together to celebrate Teddy's birthday.

2009-07-02T04:15:00.000-07:00

I only had to sit my ass on the bed and yell, "I LIKE BEER!!!" 9 times at the top of my lungs before Ant magically appeared at the door with a ''What the fuck is wrong with you?!?" look on his face (if only I had a dollar for every time he gave me that look) and a nice, cold glass full of cheap, yellow beer in his hand for yours truly.

Total score!!!!

Next time I'll try yelling, "I LIKE BEER AND A SMILE!!!" because seriously, I could do without the attitude.

:-)

2009-07-01T22:59:00.000-07:00

So, the date last night went OK. I think I'll see him again, probably sometime soon. :-) We saw Transformers 2, and I know everybody has been bitching about the writing, but come on, people!! BIG.ROBOTS.FIGHTING!!! Plus, lots of shout-outs to Pennsylvania (those are my peeps, yo), Shia LaBouef or however you spell his weird last name (I think he's totally yummy), and, for the guys, Megan Fox's boobs bouncing across the screen for approximately 73% of the movie. I don't know what you all were expecting, but for a summer action flick it suited me just fine. I just wish I had made it over to see Petra and the Pyramids before those evil Decepticons ruined them.

I spent most of the day reliving the movie with my 4th graders. Most of them have seen it, so when I told them yesterday I was FINALLY going to see it they were super excited for me, and they were all confused about how I would understand it since it was subtitled. I was like, "Well, my dear, sweet little morons, it's subtitled IN KOREAN! The movie is in ENGLISH, so I think I'll be able to follow along OK," but apparently they had been talking about some of the crazy robot language the Decepticons use - the subtitles for those would be in Korean, too, so I wouldn't know what messages they were sending to Megatron.

Which was the perfect opening to convince them that I am fluent in Robot. "Seriously, guys, just like you can speak Korean and English? I can speak English and Robot. Really." And then I told them this great story about how Rockzilla (obviously an Autobot) beat the crap out of my microwave (evil Decepticon) last night.

And then I spent all of this morning teaching them in my best Optimus Prime voice, like this, "Children of this planet called Earth, I have seen what you are capable of, and so I must remind you - put the adjective BEFORE the noun when you write a sentence! Only with this important knowledge can your world survive!"

And that was my day. How 'bout you guys?

2009-06-30T22:50:00.000-07:00

I have a date tonight!! I'm so excited! Wonder if he'll put out? :-)