This is the part where you tell me how freakin' cute my new hat is. Seriously. Tell me. Because I'm not gonna tell you how much I paid for the thing, but I will tell you that if I hadn't been shit-faced drunk I never would have considered paying that much for a hat. Well, there was the drunkenness, and the fact that the sales chick wouldn't stop gushing over how "totally cool" my fur tights were (send your hate mail elsewhere PETA, they're faux fur). By the time we got done discussing my purple hair, furry tights, and super cool boots I felt like I had to buy something. I had been there for so long it would have been awkward to just walk out with nothing. I also figured it was a good way to change the subject to something besides me, because I'm actually a bit shy and not very good at taking face-to-face compliments.

Anyway, yesterday I met my friend Heaven (yes, that's his real name) at a bar in North Beach around 8:30 a.m. for a little inauguration goodness. There was champagne involved. Then we went for breakfast. There was more champagne involved. Then, I decided it would be a good idea for me to walk home from North Beach, because what else did I have to do? I'm not sure how many bars there are between North Beach and my home, but I managed to hit up quite a few of them. I got home with the intention of taking a short nap and sobering up a bit before Ant got home, but then I discovered the remnants of a 12 pack of PBR in the fridge.

What's a girl to do?

I finally got around to thinking I should sober up sometime late in the afternoon, but then I got a text from Ant that said, "Interested in a happy hour somewhere?"


So we went to some place on Divis and met up with Matt and had some beers. And then we went to another place and had some beers and some Ethiopian food.

And so to make a short story long, that, dear readers, is how I ended up spending the entire day drunk.

So I woke up this morning feeling less than 100%. I checked my phone, and there was a message saying, "I took your car. Be home in an hour." I checked the time and realized that he was probably on his way home right now. I wrote back, "I need some coffee. Think I'm gonna head to the bakery."

Of course, the correct response would have been, "I'll get some on my way home."

I got, "Get me some too."


I threw on some clothes and disguised my bedhead with my new hat, trudged downstairs and ran into Ant when I was leaving the building. I was like, "Sweet! Now I don't have to walk alone!"

And he was like, "Don't forget mine. With cream."



Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Nice hat.

But enough about the hat. What kind of beer is that in the pitcher in front of you? Not to be the kind of a-hole who's supposed to be with you on a blind date but then starts hitting on your friend, but ... is anyone gonna drink that beer? Is it a full pitcher and does it have any plans for tonight? Mind if I text it? Look, I've never said this before to a pitcher of beer I just met, but I think I love that beer and I need - need not want - to see it naked.

Look, I'm sorry it didn't work out between us - me; you; the hat - but do you mind if I start dating your beer? Would you lend it the hat because I think the beer would look really good in that hat.

Um. you do, too.

achilles3 said...

Drinking all day is lovely.
Nice work.
Cream and sugar please ;-)