Hey, look at me!! I'm on The Great Wall!!! Do you guys wanna know the best thing about The Great Wall? It really is pretty freaking great!!! Hiking on The Great Wall was just one of the many, many, many items on my bucketlist. I don't know why, but I've always been fascinated by it. Probably all those rumors about being able to see it from space, which NASA says isn't true but the Chinese government still insists it's the only item on Earth that the astronauts can see from way up there. I'm not inclined to think the Chinese government is built on the value of honesty, but I'm also not inclined to think the U.S. government and its' various agencies are any better, so who knows? When I grow up and become an astronaut, I'll let you guys know for sure if you can see it or not.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling and get back to the point: I went hiking on The Great Wall! It's a few hours outside of Beijing, so for much of the ride there I was trying not to get my hopes up so I wouldn't be too disappointed if it sucked. I mean, how great can a wall really be? I'm surrounded by walls everyday, and I spend most of my time counting the seconds until I can get away from them. Well, I should've just taken a nap, because there was no disappointment involved. I had assumed it would be crowded, but once we got past the first tower (about 15 minutes in) there was maybe one or two other people that weren't with our group. I had also thought it might be kind of like hiking in Korea, but it was actually quite challenging and probably the most physical exertion I'd had in a long time. They offered ways to shortcut, like taking a cable car ride to the top and a zip line back down, but I passed on both and completed every step of the hike on my own two feet (sometimes with the assistance of my hands when it got super steep). Yay me! It wasn't really too far - probably only 10K, but man oh man, there were some steep hills with zero footing involved. The whole time I was hiking I had about 3 thoughts running through my head, "How the H E double hockey sticks did they build this freaking thing?!?" "I wonder if I'm walking over the part where they buried all the dead people?" and "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, PEOPLE ACTUALLY RUN A MARATHON ON THIS FUCKING THING?!?!?" They say that The Great Wall Marathon is the toughest marathon in the world, and I gotta say that they probably aren't joking.

Anyway, here's a gazillion more pics:

And, finally, a well deserved beer at the end of the hike, and me later that evening, after some shopping at the silk market and a yummy dinner of all things involving duck and beer - exhausted in a good way, sunburned, and happy, happy, happy!

So, I made it back safe (but maybe not so sound?) from China. Actally, I got back awhile ago, but I've just been so incredibly busy with important stuff like eating my own weight in M&M's and drinking gallons of Maxim iced coffee a day to do much blogging. But, I'll try to get caught up because I have China stories and Korea stories and all kinds of life stories to tell you guys, and I'm starting to get emails from friends and random blog readers alike wondering if I'm still alive (I am) and if I've decided to stop blogging forever (I haven't).

And so, since I know you've been losing sleep waiting for it, here is the official report of my first day of China. I will warn you now that there's a very good chance that any word of Chinese origin is more than likely going to be spelled wrong.

My flight to Beijing was pretty uneventful. It only takes about 2 hours or so from Seoul, so I boarded, took a nap, and woke up in China. And, then I nearly got quarantined. They were screening all passengers for Swine flu, and someone must have told them I have a Mexican boyfriend or something because they really screened me. First, people wearing what looked like full hazmat suits boarded the plane and pointed a thing that looked a bit like a laser gun at my forehead. I failed. So they did it again. And again. I always get a runny nose on flights because of the shitty air and freezing cold temps, so there I was, the only foreigner, with a runny nose and a panicky hazmat lady. Everyone else was getting the gun treatment, too, but they were getting it once. My anxiety level was definitely rising, let me tell you. Then, another hazmat dude came over and pointed his gun at my head, they whispered to each other, and he disappeared to the back to the plane. And of course by now everybody on the plane had assumed that the only non-asian on the jet had just infected them all with her nasty foreigner germs, and they were not being kind. Yikes! Finally, as I was beginning to wonder if I did indeed actually have the virus, I said, "AM I OK?!?" And Ms. China Hazmat 2009 looked at me all surprised, the way I would look at my goldfish if it started speaking out loud, and said, "Oh, yes. You're fine." And then she walked away. WTF?!? I was screened and questioned twice more before I was allowed to head to customs! Sheesh!!!!!!

I made it out of customs, exchanged some money, and hopped a bus to Xi Dan, which was as close as I could get to my hostel by bus from the airport. Once I got to the stop in Xi Dan I began walking in what I hoped was the right direction to my hostel. For what may be the only time in my life, I actually didn't get lost. It was probably a few miles of walking in the rain to get to my hostel, but I was walking in China so who cares?!?

Here's a few pics of the hostel I stayed at, which was amazing and awesome and clean and friendly and had a great staff who never ran out of patience, all for about 11 bucks a night.

After checking in, I ditched my stuff and changed into my running clothes and went for a nice long run. I ran through the Forbidden City, which was amazing, and Tianneman Square, which was a bit boring but since I know the historical significance of the place it still felt pretty cool. Since I was running I only had Rockzilla and not Ms. Carrie D. Camera, so I have no pictures of the City or the Square. I'm a bit bummed about that, but I guess now I have a reason to go back!

After my run it took me about 5 minutes to meet the dude in the picture above. Yohance. He's an English teacher in Seoul, too, and he was super cool. We went with yet another English teacher we met to the night market for some food. Everything was gross, and everything was on sticks. Here's a bit of the weirdness:

Snakes on sticks, roaches on sticks, centipedes on sticks, penis on sticks...there wasn't much that I wanted to eat there, but this kid was thrilled:

After we ate we walked around the city and stumbled upon a market, so we wandered through there. Lots of cheap souvenirs and communist propaganda. I didn't buy anything, but it was fun walking around looking at everything.And then it was a few beers and off to sleep, since we were getting up at 5:45 the next morning for our hiking trip to The Great Wall.

Guess where Rockzilla and I will be in exactly 7 days?!?!? Bei-fucking-jing, bitches!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!! Send me your address if you want a postcard (dont dot call dot me dot jessi at gmail dot com), and brace yourselves for no less than 16,537 pictures of some wall they have there.