"If you don't insure the car against ACTS OF GOD, you will be held responsible for them."
"I'll be held responsible for acts of God??"
"Yes. Unless you insure the car against such ACTS OF GOD!!!"
"Are you expecting God to smite Hertz rental car drivers this evening?"
"Ma'am, there is no way to predict when such acts might occur. That's why we recommend the insurance."
"Can you tell me the last time an act of God took out a Hertz rental car driver?"
And on and on it went. I finally escaped only to discover that they had given me the wrong car. Which meant I had to go back to the counter and go through the whole thing again. GRRRR!!!
So...you guys have big plans this weekend? Hopefully you don't have too much planned for Saturday, because Valentine's Day has been cancelled this year. By my boyfriend. Yup. I apologize to anyone who might have gone out of their way to make reservations, and I hope you saved the receipt(s) for those flowers/candies/gifts you may have bought. There will be no Valentine's Day this year. I know many of you male readers have thought about skipping out on V-day, but my boyfriend actually had the balls to wait for me to bring it up and then say "OH JESUS! WE'RE NOT DOING THAT CRAP! Valentine's Day is CANCELLED!" I know exactly what you're thinking, ladies, wherever did I find him?
I like giving Ant a hard time about canceling Vday, but the truth is he's pretty fabulous everyday of the year so I really have nothing to complain about. And I'm gonna be in PA anyway. As an example of his greatness, the other day he let me drag him to the Pinnacles for a hike, and he was all, "We should've brought the Sprinter so we could camp tonight!" And I was like, "MAN! That would've been so cool!" And he was like, "Wait! We can still stay, we'll just find a motel somewhere. We can drive over to Monterrey and have dinner, and then go to the aquarium tomorrow!" And I was all, "Umm...I thought we were just going hiking. I have seven dollars, a few packs of hot chocolate, and a half eaten bag of trail mix on me." And in true sugardaddy fashion he took me to dinner, found a place for us to stay, took me to the aquarium and tried not to get embarrassed when I ran around like a little kid, and then took me for a cheeseburger for lunch before we headed back to the city. How great is that?!? I had such a fun time, especially with the sea dragons!
Well kids, I'm a bit tired. Gonna finish watching Family Guy with Steph and Edward and then go catch some ZZZ's in my very own bed, which they inherited for their guest room when I moved to Korea. Tomorrow morning I meet my friend Charlie for our traditional bfast at the Ham Fam, and then I'm off to Sunbury to see my family.
Hopefully I make it through the drive without getting destroyed by an act of God. I'd hate to have to admit that the Hertz rental car lady was right!
7 comments:
Hey, sister, welcome to the East Coast, aka Teh Awesome Coast!1! On your car trip from Newark to Allentown, you passed close enough to where I live here in Joisey that I could have reached out and Smote you, if I were God, which I'm NOT, because I lost the election in a really close vote back in 2000 (Thanks a LOT, Florida!).
Is Allentown still the way Billy Joel described it in his hit song "Uptown Girl"? (Where the Uptown Girl is a stand-in for Allentown and the working class boy is a stand-in for Scranton and they finally get together and get freaky and ultimately have a baby named Harrisburg? I sure hope so, because I'd hate to think Allentown is anything like that other Billy Joel song, "Allentown".)
LMAO at the car rental lady story. I have a buddy who is really great with service foax when they, for whatever reason, aren't being very serciceable. My fav involves his getting to a rental car place an hour or two early, SEEING the car he rented sitting in the lot, ready to go, and being told he couldn't have it yet because the rental day started at Noon and it was only 10am. So he stands there for a full half hour, maniacal look on his face, saying to the rental car guy (who by now is trying to deal with other customers), "Can I have my car now, John? How about NOW, John? Can I have my car NOW, John?" etc.
I think the guy relented after like 20 minutes of that.
Classic.
Just goes to show, if you're gonna act crazy, ya gotta commit to the role.
Dunno if you realize it, but you're Marcy's Blog of the Week! Which means you can expect a ton more traffic to your site. So don't go all Amy Winehouse on us. Try to stay out of the Allentown crack houses if you can, but if you can't, save some crack for the rest of us.
Just a gentle reminder - you promised to drunk-dial Ant at some point in this trip and put the transcript of your conversation up on your blog. I intend to hold you to that.
V-day is cancelled? Woo-hoo! SUCK IT, WOMEN!!1!
Welcome to the East coast! Enjoy your stay (and make sure you get some good beers).
V-day is canceled here as well. ;o)
You should have said, "my lord and savior is the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and He has better things to do than fuck with rental cars."
No means no in the drive-in? Hmm. I was thinking that NO! was kind of like an act of God which needed drive-in insurance. Like, can I get my money back I paid to see a movie I really didn't want to see (I only came for the party!) and for all the $$ spent on weenies and popcorn? That's where act of God insurance would come in handy.
Guys always hate hearing "NO!" and HATE! the persistent hand that is soooo adept at removing his hand from areas that have been determined off limits.
Maybe that's why there's so few drive-in movies left: They spent all their money on act of God insurance.
I'm thinking act of God insurance also covers the cancellation of Valentine's Day. You need to go collect.
Glad you arrived in PA safe and sound.
East Coast is the best coast :P Now be careful with that rental LOL
Rental car lady sounds like she'd make a darned fine date rapist.
I won't miss Vday this year, now that it's been cancelled. In fact, I'm pretty sure the last time my husband presented me with flowers, I gasped, my hand flew to my heart, and I yelled, "What did you do? Who is she?"
Have fun in PA! I'll pray to God to leave your rental care alone.
Sooooo... since V-Day is cancelled, I shouldn't bother making dessert? No white chocolate heart shaped cups with dark chocolate mousse or no dark chocolate heart shaped cups with strawberry mousse? Too bad! I was going to save you one or two!
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