Got tricked into eating vegetables tonight when I came to the sad realization that those dishes really weren’t going to wash themselves. So, it was scrub down some pots and pans and cook up some flesh (Mmmm…flesh) or find something else. In the end, laziness won out and I threw together a salad with some veggies and hard boiled eggs that were taking up space in the fridge.

I told myself I would feel good about using the veggies, instead of allowing them to take their normal route, which is something along the lines of this: Carried home from grocery store --> put away in fridge with all sorts of yummy plans for them --> time passes --> “JES!!! What the F is this nasty shit in our fridge???!!!??? Wait…maybe this soft, bendy green thing is OK to eat – is it some kind of weird Korean vegetable?” “Uh…that was a carrot when I bought it.”

Anyway, you get the picture, it’s something pretty close to that – except Ant doesn’t curse that much. But whenever I do my Ant impersonation (which he looooves), I throw a bunch of swear words in.

Jeez. I’m rambling. So…thought I’d at least feel good about not wasting so much food (I really do hate wasting food) but it turns out I feel just like someone who had to force down a salad when they really wanted a burger.

Waking up early to run, 40 minutes of Bikram after school instead of my usual nap, and a salad for dinner?!? Dear Flying Spaghetti Monster, what the heck has happened to me?!?

Anyway, after a phone call to SF that probably cost me an entire man won, I got a text from my coteacher (coteacher is a totally legitimate word here in Korea) about having some beers. Being good – and broke – I declined, but then I got this gem of a text, “BOB THE HOMEROOM TEACHER IS HERE!!!!” Well, why didn’t you freaking say so?!?

Bob. Bob the homeroom teacher. The funniest man on the face of the planet. I’m not even kidding when I say he’s so cool that having a few beers with him was actually an item on my bucketlist. He even talked me into drinking soju by promising on his wife that I was better looking than any Russian prostitute in Korea. Nice, Bob. If I ever have a 3rd grader, she/he is completely in your hands!!

So, I’m home…a little tipsy but not full on drunk, and I’m off to bed.

But first, a message for my awesome buddy Achilles, who spent an entire evening with me last weekend speaking really, really bad Spanglish. Actually, I don’t even know if it could be considered Spanglish, since we mostly just added an ‘O’ to every single word. Kind of like this:

Me: No mas cerveza or shot-o, because-o mi es drunk-o. Ant-o will be mad-o.

Achilles: Ant-o es in the bathroom-o

Me: Bring-o it on-o!!!

So Achilles-o, here-o you go-o: Gracias por introducing-o mi to Florence-o and the Machine-o. I love-o them mucho mucho. And-o I also love-o you!!

Goodnight, everyone. I think morning is going to come way too quickly for me!

4 comments:

Mel-2nd Chances said...

oh boy, hope the morning isn't too rough lol

TallGuySurfing said...

LMAO! I just discovered today that I'm a big fan of roasted red pepper humus! I ate the entire package in one sitting! This Bob guy sounds awesome!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

This is you NOT full-on drunk?

Sweet Baby J! Please say you were also smoking crack, then.

achilles3 said...

TOTAL blasto!