I just managed to cut my right hand, and then simultaneously burn my left hand, mouth, and chin, all while making dinner!!

Who's totally smooth?

Oh yeah. That'd be me.

You guys wanna hear how freaking smooth I am? This morning I rolled out of bed - I mean, I literally rolled out of bed. That's not just a figure of speech. I sort of woke up and heard Ant getting ready to leave for work, so I thought to my self, "Self...you should get up and say good-bye to him like you normally do, instead of being such a lazy ass!" So, I rolled over, expecting to land on the edge of the bed. Turns out I was already sleeping on the edge of the bed, so when I rolled over I landed directly on the floor. Yup, I am the epitome of grace.

I should give lessons in smoothness.

I don't recommend you try this at home. If you guys need me, I'll be mopping the kitchen floor. :-(