I know you're all wondering all about my plans for today, so please, allow me to share. I'm quite the sharing individual, you know. It's currently 10:21 a.m., and as soon as I finish this up I'm gonna go jump in the shower. Cause it's time for me to shower, trust me on that one! Then, I'm gonna mosey (not amble, not wander, just mosey) to the bakery for a cup of coffee. I will then meander down the street to the book store. I will basically be wasting time in a wonderful fashion until I meet Boriana at The Plant Cafe for lunch. After lunch I'll zoom home, jump in the van, and head over to Crissy for some running. After running, I'll smoosh myself into a wetsuit and do some paddling! YAY! I'm contemplating a hash with the gypsies tonight, but otherwise I have no plans.



I have taken an enormous liking to paddleboarding. It's so much fun! I love being out on the water, I love the exercise, I love trying to go faster and farther and turn sharper. I love that I fall less often than the other people I see doing it. I love that my fantastic boyfriend lets me use all his stuff, because come on, what am I gonna do with my own 10 ft long surf board? Nothing, that's what. I drive a Smart car for God's sake. I wouldn't even be able to get the thing to the water! That means it would be one more piece of gear that would sit around our living room, mixed with his surf stuff, my camping/backpacking/running stuff, our bike stuff, and other random posessions that make all of our guests feel totally inferior to us because we are just so obviously more cool and outdoorsy than they are. You can tell by all our stuff.

Anyway, as the above picture proves, my fabulous boyfriend is really cool about letting me use his stuff. The wetsuit in the pic? His. The 2 boards? His and his. The paddle? His. Hell, even the girl in the wetsuit (that would be me, btw) is his.

But lets return to the wetsuit for a moment, shall we?

It stinks.

Seriously. It totally reeks. Imagine the worst thing you've ever smelled, and multiply it by a zillion, and that's almost how bad this thing smells. Imagine the stench of a dead creature that's been puked on, and then left to rot and grow moldy. It's sort of a smell like that. It's not his fault, it happens to old wetsuits (or so I'm told). He probably doesn't notice it, because he doesn't wear that suit often, and he falls alot more than I do (I've been dying to work that little bit of info into this). Anyway, since I am NOT falling off the board and am instead floating gracefully atop the water, basking in the sun - pause and picture me basking, please - I notice the smell. I notice it so much it makes my face crinkle up, and I eventually end up jumping in the water to try and rinse the stench out of my nostrils.

So give me 183 dollars, and I will purchase my very own wetsuit so I am not forced to endure the awful smell of corpse/puke/mold while I am out having fun in the water whilst you slave away at your day jobs.

In exchange I will send you a picture of me in my brand spanking new, nonsmelly wetsuit. You won't be sorry.


so far, I am $9 closer to a new wetsuit.






WETSUIT




7 comments:

Stephanie said...

You know, I considered spending that dollar, but then it would be one less dollar to spend on frilly pink lacy things! Sorry Aunt Jes! : )

Jes said...

HAHAHA!! You deny it now, but you'll totally be dressing her in pink lacy things! Thank Buddha she's gonna have me in her life to help her stay cool! :-)

pittchick said...

HAHA. hang an air freshener around your neck.

Jes said...

Not a bad idea...

BTExpress said...

I used to rinse my wet suit with a hose, then soak it in the tub with Woolite. Next, rinse, rinse, rinse. Guess you could use the washing machine, but I never tired that. Then lube the zipper. I hear a little bit of Listerine in the water works to kill the bacteria.

Jes said...

Woolite? Really? I was under the impression you couldn't put anything (detergent wise) on them. I rinse them pretty well, which is why our bathtub is always filled with sand, but this one in particular is just smelly, smelly, smelly.

Rachel L B said...

I love love love love love that this post is labeled "Really Bad Smells", in fact it is the only post I have read, and now I will only be checking under this label in the future.