So I just got finished with a project writing a few articles (occasionally people actually pay me to write shit for them, but it's usually topics I don't care too much about) on...wait for it...herpes. More specifically, on different treatments for herpes simplex virus type 1, which is the one that causes cold sores, not the "other" sores.

While researching, I read a bunch of crap that was designed to be a Q&A session, where people post questions about possible exposure or outbreaks, and the doctor answers them. I bet there's no way in hell they were answered by a real doctor, but that's not the point...

About 75% of the questions (which were primarily written by women, but again I think they're made up) started with statements like, "I had brief oral sex with a man for about a minute..." and "The oral sex was unprotected and lasted about 2 minutes total..." ONE MINUTE??? TWO MINUTES, TOTAL??? What the heck, people? Why bother? Who has oral sex for only one minute?!? [ed. note: except me, mom and dad. i'm not married so i don't do such nasty, filthy things, not even for only 1 minute. in fact, i had to look up what the term 'oral sex' meant.].

Jeez. No wonder I see so many unhappy people walking down the street. ;-)

1 comment:

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

O, okay! THIS is what I missed!

Geez, IO Missy, leave your comments on the appropriate posts because I didn't know you were talking about this post and so now, somehow (not MY fault), a rumor has been started on Teh Interwebs that you and Jes had oral sex for two minutes and Missy was dissatisfied with it.

Sure, I know it's untrue NOW. But good luck getting THAT particular genie back in the bottle.

("Letting the genie outta the bottle", by the way, is a well-known euphemism for oral sex in which one of the parties is left unsatisfied.)